Health and Me

Ishita Roy

Romanticization And The Silent Dismissal Of Women’s Pain | Women's Day Special

Just few days ago, the world witnessed a personal documentary film bagging <a href="https://www.healthandme.com/health-wellness/this-is-endometriosis-a-short-film-on-debilitating-health-condition-wins-bafta-award-2026-know-more-article-153757181" data-type="tilCustomLink">BAFTA Award 2026</a>. The film is titled This Is Endometriosis. The film is a personal story of director Georgie Wileman, who was diagnosed with the condition a decade after she had first shown her symptoms. The film brings the attention back on dismissal of women's pain, which has been normalized for ages.

This is not the only instance of women's pain being dismissed. Instagram and other social media platforms are flooded with women sharing their experiences of getting intrauterine contraceptive device or an IUD inserted without anesthesia. The pain is debilitating.

Another report, from India's capital city by PARI (People's Archive of Rural India) mentions a case of Deepa (name changed) who had a copper-T (IUD) inserted, right after her C-section. After two years, she experienced menstrual irregularities and heavy bleeding. She visited several doctors, one of whom, even dismissed it as just weakness, while prescribing calcium and iron tablets for her. In other instances, her copper-T could not be located, until she got an X-ray done, which noted: 'The copper-T is seen in situ in hemipelvis region.' The PARI report quotes West Delhi-based gynecologist Dr Jyotsna Gupta, "There are high chances that a copper-T may get tilted if it is inserted soon after delivery or a C-section.This is because in both cases the uterus cavity is enlarged then, and takes time to set itself to normal. While it is doing so, the inserted copper-T may change its axis and get tilted. It may also get displaced or get tilted if a woman experiences severe cramps during menstruation.”

The report also quotes ASHA worker Sushila Devi saying that they hear many women complaining about copper-T. "Many times, they tell us that it has 'reached their stomach' and they want to get it removed." However, like this case, in many other cases too, their pain is often ignored. 

When Health and Me spoke to Dr Archana Dhawan Bajaj, gynecologist and Delhi-based IVF specialist, she said that physical pain and emotional distress in women is often normalized because the system "assumes that women's bodies are always in a state of flux and therefore leads to many women being undiagnosed or dismissed and delayed for treatment of a serious nature."

Dr Sonu Taxak, who is a senior IVF Consultant and Director at Yellow Fertility also told Health and Me that historically, women's symptoms were poorly studied, so for any pain, "hormonal fluctuation became a convenient explanation".

Read: <a href="https://www.healthandme.com/health-wellness/the-hidden-cost-of-extreme-fitness-on-womens-bodies-womens-day-special-article-153741719" data-type="tilCustomLink">The Hidden Cost of Extreme Fitness On Women’s Bodies | Women's Day Special</a>

<h2>Women Bodies Are Meant To Bear Pain</h2>

A popular monologue from Fleabag says, "Women are born with pain built in." The powerful monologue is a reminder of how women carry pain and are often unheard so much so that society makes a woman believe that she is meant to bear it. While there is no scientific evidence that verifies that women have a higher pain tolerance than men (British Journal of Anaesthesia, 2013), historically their pain have been ignored. Dr Taxak points out that research consistently shows women’s pain is more likely to be dismissed as emotional or anxiety-related. "While awareness is improving, unconscious bias still exists. Pain should be evaluated based on clinical evidence, not gender-based perception."

A Guardian report from 2020 talks about how women are shamed for asking for painkillers. The report mentions Kate, who was in a 26-hour labor and when she asked for epidural, she was denied it. "The first time the midwives said I wasn't far enough along. The second time, they said I didn't need it. Finally, they said I was too far along."

Many women are shamed for asking for epidural, or are often scared. Yashasvi Arora (name changed) delivered her baby in January 2025 in a Delhi hospital said that her mother had told her to not opt for epidural as it causes chronic back problems that linger throughout one's life. However, science finds no such evidence of any claim. While back pain is common, but it does not stay forever, as notes Cleveland Clinic. 

"Childbirth pain has been culturally romanticized as something to 'endure'. But medically, an epidural is a safe and evidence-based pain relief option. Choosing comfort does not diminish strength, It reflects informed decision-making," says Dr Taxak.

Pop culture plays a significant role in romanticization of labor pain. An advertisement by Indira IVF opens with a woman in labor pain, sweating and screaming and in the next scene, she says, "This is my life's best moment". Dr Archana says, "Pain relief (i.e., epidurals) becomes defined as a form of weakness because society favors natural childbirth as a true "test of endurance." Additionally, society often manifests culture as a glorified sacrifice made by the mother and that to ask for help is a sign of failure."

The cycle of pain does not end there, women are also shamed for postpartum, with many, especially men on the internet claiming that it is not a real thing. A new trend of 'Last Generation of the Innocent Mother' has taken over the internet that glorifies mothers who did not express their problems or were often shamed for it. However, the reality is quite different from what trends on the internet.

Read: <a href="https://www.healthandme.com/health-wellness/navigating-postpartum-the-emotional-and-physical-impact-on-new-mothers-article-151033101" data-type="tilCustomLink">Navigating Postpartum: The Emotional and Physical Impact on New Mothers</a>

“I am a very positive person. I know I can handle anything. So, when my friends would tell me their stories of postpartum, I would tell myself that I could handle it. I could talk myself out of it. But to my surprise, it was very difficult. My body and my mind went through so much,” says Akanksha Thapliyal, 34 from Siliguri, a creative consultant, who became a mother at 33. Thapliyal shares that there were days when she would just cry, without even knowing the reason. At times, everyone felt like her enemy, including her husband.

A mother from East Tennessee, Tiffany Toombs Clevinger, now 39, shares she was 37 when she had her baby and her first feeling was, “Oh no, what did we just do?” She was in disbelief and did not know what to do to take care of her child.

Both mothers struggled with breastfeeding and Thapliyal also complained of pain while feeding her child. However, her mother told her that it was normal. The reality is, it was not.

"Postpartum depression is often underdiagnosed because symptoms are normalized or overlooked. While mild discomfort in breastfeeding could occur initially, persistent or severe pain is not normal," points out Dr Taxak. 

<h2>Pain And Discomfort Exist Only For Men</h2>

Birth control pill is often the burden on women, and when the idea of male contraception was first discussed in 1970s, the research came to a halt. The pill never made it to market. In November 2016, Susan Scutti reported in CNN that the study was cut short due to the side effects of the pill. The report Male birth control shot found effective, but side effects cut the study short. Another report by NPR titled Male Birth Control Study Killed After Men Report Side Effects also seconded the claim.

Read: <a href="https://www.healthandme.com/health-wellness/explained-the-history-of-birth-control-pills-and-other-alternative-article-151035196" data-type="tilCustomLink">Explained: The History Of Birth Control Pills And Other Alternative</a>

While for women, those who are on birth control pills are prone to headaches, breast tenderness, acne, nausea, weight gain, irregular menstruation, mood changes, and decreased libido. 

Dr Archana explains, the disparity of how women and men are treated medically in terms of contraceptive responsibility remains pervasive due to long-standing societal and medical expectations. "Trials for male contraceptives are often stopped due to the mildly adverse effects of men, while women have been expected to suffer similar or perhaps even more serious effects for a much longer period. Ultimately this further illustrates the gendered tolerance men have witnessed in the medical world, wherein the discomfort of women is often treated as 'the norm,' while any form of adverse side effect for men exhibits heightened scrutiny and ultimately leads to decisions to cease the trials."

With such instances, it becomes more so important on International Women's Day on how much of women's pain is still being normalized instead of treated. For decades, medicine and society have often asked women to tolerate discomfort quietly.

International Women’s Day, at its core, is about recognizing women’s voices and experiences. In healthcare, that means something very practical: believing women when they say something is wrong. Because sometimes, the most powerful step toward better care is not a new technology or treatment. It is simply listening.

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Just few days ago, the world witnessed a personal documentary film bagging BAFTA Award 2026. The film is titled This Is Endometriosis. The film is a personal story of director Georgie Wileman, who was diagnosed with the condition a decade after she had first shown her symptoms. The film brings the attention back on dismissal of women's pain, which has been normalized for ages. This is not the only instance of women's pain being dismissed. Instagram and other social media platforms are flooded with women sharing their experiences of getting intrauterine contraceptive device or an IUD inserted without anesthesia. The pain is debilitating.   Another report, from India's capital city by PARI (People's Archive of Rural India) mentions a case of Deepa (name changed) who had a copper-T (IUD) inserted, right after her C-section. After two years, she experienced menstrual irregularities and heavy bleeding. She visited several doctors, one of whom, even dismissed it as just weakness, while prescribing calcium and iron tablets for her. In other instances, her copper-T could not be located, until she got an X-ray done, which noted: 'The copper-T is seen in situ in hemipelvis region.' The PARI report quotes West Delhi-based gynecologist Dr Jyotsna Gupta, "There are high chances that a copper-T may get tilted if it is inserted soon after delivery or a C-section.This is because in both cases the uterus cavity is enlarged then, and takes time to set itself to normal. While it is doing so, the inserted copper-T may change its axis and get tilted. It may also get displaced or get tilted if a woman experiences severe cramps during menstruation.”The report also quotes ASHA worker Sushila Devi saying that they hear many women complaining about copper-T. "Many times, they tell us that it has 'reached their stomach' and they want to get it removed." However, like this case, in many other cases too, their pain is often ignored. When Health and Me spoke to Dr Archana Dhawan Bajaj, gynecologist and Delhi-based IVF specialist, she said that physical pain and emotional distress in women is often normalized because the system "assumes that women's bodies are always in a state of flux and therefore leads to many women being undiagnosed or dismissed and delayed for treatment of a serious nature."Dr Sonu Taxak, who is a senior IVF Consultant and Director at Yellow Fertility also told Health and Me that historically, women's symptoms were poorly studied, so for any pain, "hormonal fluctuation became a convenient explanation".Read: The Hidden Cost of Extreme Fitness On Women’s Bodies | Women's Day Special Women Bodies Are Meant To Bear PainA popular monologue from Fleabag says, "Women are born with pain built in." The powerful monologue is a reminder of how women carry pain and are often unheard so much so that society makes a woman believe that she is meant to bear it. While there is no scientific evidence that verifies that women have a higher pain tolerance than men (British Journal of Anaesthesia, 2013), historically their pain have been ignored. Dr Taxak points out that research consistently shows women’s pain is more likely to be dismissed as emotional or anxiety-related. "While awareness is improving, unconscious bias still exists. Pain should be evaluated based on clinical evidence, not gender-based perception."A Guardian report from 2020 talks about how women are shamed for asking for painkillers. The report mentions Kate, who was in a 26-hour labor and when she asked for epidural, she was denied it. "The first time the midwives said I wasn't far enough along. The second time, they said I didn't need it. Finally, they said I was too far along."Many women are shamed for asking for epidural, or are often scared. Yashasvi Arora (name changed) delivered her baby in January 2025 in a Delhi hospital said that her mother had told her to not opt for epidural as it causes chronic back problems that linger throughout one's life. However, science finds no such evidence of any claim. While back pain is common, but it does not stay forever, as notes Cleveland Clinic. "Childbirth pain has been culturally romanticized as something to 'endure'. But medically, an epidural is a safe and evidence-based pain relief option. Choosing comfort does not diminish strength, It reflects informed decision-making," says Dr Taxak.   Pop culture plays a significant role in romanticization of labor pain. An advertisement by Indira IVF opens with a woman in labor pain, sweating and screaming and in the next scene, she says, "This is my life's best moment". Dr Archana says, "Pain relief (i.e., epidurals) becomes defined as a form of weakness because society favors natural childbirth as a true "test of endurance." Additionally, society often manifests culture as a glorified sacrifice made by the mother and that to ask for help is a sign of failure."The cycle of pain does not end there, women are also shamed for postpartum, with many, especially men on the internet claiming that it is not a real thing. A new trend of 'Last Generation of the Innocent Mother' has taken over the internet that glorifies mothers who did not express their problems or were often shamed for it. However, the reality is quite different from what trends on the internet.Read: Navigating Postpartum: The Emotional and Physical Impact on New Mothers “I am a very positive person. I know I can handle anything. So, when my friends would tell me their stories of postpartum, I would tell myself that I could handle it. I could talk myself out of it. But to my surprise, it was very difficult. My body and my mind went through so much,” says Akanksha Thapliyal, 34 from Siliguri, a creative consultant, who became a mother at 33. Thapliyal shares that there were days when she would just cry, without even knowing the reason. At times, everyone felt like her enemy, including her husband.A mother from East Tennessee, Tiffany Toombs Clevinger, now 39, shares she was 37 when she had her baby and her first feeling was, “Oh no, what did we just do?” She was in disbelief and did not know what to do to take care of her child.  Both mothers struggled with breastfeeding and Thapliyal also complained of pain while feeding her child. However, her mother told her that it was normal. The reality is, it was not."Postpartum depression is often underdiagnosed because symptoms are normalized or overlooked. While mild discomfort in breastfeeding could occur initially, persistent or severe pain is not normal," points out Dr Taxak. Pain And Discomfort Exist Only For Men  Birth control pill is often the burden on women, and when the idea of male contraception was first discussed in 1970s, the research came to a halt. The pill never made it to market. In November 2016, Susan Scutti reported in CNN that the study was cut short due to the side effects of the pill. The report Male birth control shot found effective, but side effects cut the study short. Another report by NPR titled Male Birth Control Study Killed After Men Report Side Effects also seconded the claim.Read: Explained: The History Of Birth Control Pills And Other AlternativeWhile for women, those who are on birth control pills are prone to headaches, breast tenderness, acne, nausea, weight gain, irregular menstruation, mood changes, and decreased libido. Dr Archana explains, the disparity of how women and men are treated medically in terms of contraceptive responsibility remains pervasive due to long-standing societal and medical expectations. "Trials for male contraceptives are often stopped due to the mildly adverse effects of men, while women have been expected to suffer similar or perhaps even more serious effects for a much longer period. Ultimately this further illustrates the gendered tolerance men have witnessed in the medical world, wherein the discomfort of women is often treated as 'the norm,' while any form of adverse side effect for men exhibits heightened scrutiny and ultimately leads to decisions to cease the trials."Listening To Women's PainWith such instances, it becomes more so important on International Women's Day on how much of women's pain is still being normalized instead of treated. For decades, medicine and society have often asked women to tolerate discomfort quietly.International Women’s Day, at its core, is about recognizing women’s voices and experiences. In healthcare, that means something very practical: believing women when they say something is wrong. Because sometimes, the most powerful step toward better care is not a new technology or treatment. It is simply listening.