Health and Me

Ishita Roy

Danish Parenting Rule Book: Children Always Make Sense

Too much about <span>Danish parenting</span> is already out in the discussion, but there is something new, yet again. The rulebook to Danish parent, and its first rule is: Children Always Make Sense.

The <span>New Danish Parenting</span> or NDP is based on a concept which relies on the Internal Family System or IFS, an attachment theory that in Denmark is called the New Child View. This is a shift from the old ways of <span>parenting</span>, to a new method, which follows equality, integrity, authenticity, and accountability. 

The new child view is based on the work of Danish Family Therapist Jesper Juul, Family-lab, and Blackbird Institute. 

<h2>Danish Parenting: Why Is It Important?</h2>

The Old paradigm of parenting was based on fear, control, abuse of power and inequality between the parent and child. Even though parents know how children behave, the old way is ingrained into our brains so much, that it is hard to follow through in practice. The new method thus compels parents to be with their own wounded parts or the inner child. This is when it becomes even more important to be with the actual child the parent is taking care of.

Also Read:<a href="https://www.healthandme.com/parenting/what-is-denmarks-cry-it-out-method-of-putting-babies-to-sleep-article-153300896" data-type="tilCustomLink"> What Is Denmark's 'Cry It Out' Method Of Putting Babies to Sleep?</a> 

<h2>Danish Parenting: Why Is It Unique?</h2>

At the foundation of New Danish Parenting is attachment. It is through the attachment of oneself from within can one take care of the actual child. The new way encourages to form a sense of safety, security and attachment between the self and parts of our inner children.

The system this bases focuses on healing modality. The focus lies on feeling safe, being the parent our child wants us to be. The new method has this New Danish Parenting, the first rule is: Children Always Make Sense. Let's talk a bit about that before moving on to the other rules. 

<h2><span rel="noindex">Danish Parenting Rule</span> No. 1: Children Always Make Sense</h2>

As human beings, we live on a spectrum between integrity and cooperation. Integrity means being true to what we feel on the inside and expressing it honestly on the outside. Cooperation, on the other hand, is about fitting in, belonging, and maintaining relationships with caregivers, family, and society. Both are essential for healthy living, but the balance between them can easily tip.

We are born deeply connected to our integrity. As babies, we cry when we are hungry, uncomfortable, or scared. We turn toward connection when we need it and turn away when we’ve had enough. This isn’t weakness. It’s competence. Babies instinctively know how to communicate their needs and boundaries.

The bond between a baby and caregiver is a two-way relationship. When a baby makes a sound or facial expression and a caregiver responds with a similar one, both are engaging, learning, and growing. These small moments shape the brain and nervous system of both child and adult, building connection and trust.

As we grow, we naturally adapt to our environment. This helps us survive, belong, and feel loved. We learn to share, wait, cooperate, and consider others. In supportive environments, children learn how to be themselves while staying connected to others.

But no environment is perfect. This is where over-cooperation begins. Over-cooperation happens when children learn that certain feelings, needs, or boundaries are not acceptable. A child may hide sadness behind a smile, ignore discomfort during unwanted touch, or eat past fullness because stopping isn’t allowed.

What often looks like “bad behavior” is actually a child struggling. Children are not being difficult; they are having a difficult time. Their behavior always has meaning and usually comes from a place of self-protection.

When adults meet children with curiosity instead of punishment, children feel seen and safe. This helps them understand themselves better and slowly return to a healthier balance between integrity and cooperation.

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Too much about Danish parenting is already out in the discussion, but there is something new, yet again. The rulebook to Danish parent, and its first rule is: Children Always Make Sense.The New Danish Parenting or NDP is based on a concept which relies on the Internal Family System or IFS, an attachment theory that in Denmark is called the New Child View. This is a shift from the old ways of parenting, to a new method, which follows equality, integrity, authenticity, and accountability. The new child view is based on the work of Danish Family Therapist Jesper Juul, Family-lab, and Blackbird Institute. Danish Parenting: Why Is It Important?The Old paradigm of parenting was based on fear, control, abuse of power and inequality between the parent and child. Even though parents know how children behave, the old way is ingrained into our brains so much, that it is hard to follow through in practice. The new method thus compels parents to be with their own wounded parts or the inner child. This is when it becomes even more important to be with the actual child the parent is taking care of.Also Read: What Is Denmark's 'Cry It Out' Method Of Putting Babies to Sleep? Danish Parenting: Why Is It Unique?At the foundation of New Danish Parenting is attachment. It is through the attachment of oneself from within can one take care of the actual child. The new way encourages to form a sense of safety, security and attachment between the self and parts of our inner children.The system this bases focuses on healing modality. The focus lies on feeling safe, being the parent our child wants us to be. The new method has this New Danish Parenting, the first rule is: Children Always Make Sense. Let's talk a bit about that before moving on to the other rules. Danish Parenting Rule No. 1: Children Always Make SenseAs human beings, we live on a spectrum between integrity and cooperation. Integrity means being true to what we feel on the inside and expressing it honestly on the outside. Cooperation, on the other hand, is about fitting in, belonging, and maintaining relationships with caregivers, family, and society. Both are essential for healthy living, but the balance between them can easily tip.We are born deeply connected to our integrity. As babies, we cry when we are hungry, uncomfortable, or scared. We turn toward connection when we need it and turn away when we’ve had enough. This isn’t weakness. It’s competence. Babies instinctively know how to communicate their needs and boundaries.The bond between a baby and caregiver is a two-way relationship. When a baby makes a sound or facial expression and a caregiver responds with a similar one, both are engaging, learning, and growing. These small moments shape the brain and nervous system of both child and adult, building connection and trust.As we grow, we naturally adapt to our environment. This helps us survive, belong, and feel loved. We learn to share, wait, cooperate, and consider others. In supportive environments, children learn how to be themselves while staying connected to others.But no environment is perfect. This is where over-cooperation begins. Over-cooperation happens when children learn that certain feelings, needs, or boundaries are not acceptable. A child may hide sadness behind a smile, ignore discomfort during unwanted touch, or eat past fullness because stopping isn’t allowed.What often looks like “bad behavior” is actually a child struggling. Children are not being difficult; they are having a difficult time. Their behavior always has meaning and usually comes from a place of self-protection.When adults meet children with curiosity instead of punishment, children feel seen and safe. This helps them understand themselves better and slowly return to a healthier balance between integrity and cooperation.

danish parenting rule book: children always make sense

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Danish Parenting Rule Book: Children Always Make Sense

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