Emotional Dependency Turns Kids Into People Pleasers- Traits, Causal Factors
In a world that values kindness and cooperation, it’s easy to overlook when those qualities are taken to extremes, especially in children. People-pleasing behaviors, often stemming from a fear of abandonment or rejection, can manifest early in life. These tendencies, while sometimes seen as harmless, can impact a child’s mental health and emotional development over time. Addressing and nurturing these behaviors appropriately is crucial to helping children develop a balanced sense of self-worth and emotional independence.
People-pleasers often prioritize others’ needs over their own, sometimes to the point of self-sacrifice. While a certain degree of giving and kindness is natural, excessive self-denial can lead to mental and emotional challenges. Children who exhibit people-pleasing tendencies may:
This overextension can result in feelings of resentment, burnout, and emotional exhaustion. Left unaddressed, it can set the stage for future struggles with depression, anxiety, and emotional dependency in adulthood.
At the heart of people-pleasing lies emotional dependence, a condition where unmet psychological needs drive a person to seek validation and fulfillment from others. A 2019 study highlights how emotional dependence can lead to behaviors like people-pleasing and a deep fear of being alone.
For children, emotional dependence often stems from their desire to gain approval and maintain closeness with caregivers, teachers, or peers. While this longing for connection is natural, it becomes problematic when a child begins to disregard their own wishes to align with others’ expectations.
For example, a child who consistently gives up their favorite activities to appease a friend or avoid conflict may begin to experience an emotional void. This emptiness, if unaddressed, can evolve into patterns of dependence that persist into their teenage and adult years.
Recognizing the signs of people-pleasing behaviors in children is the first step toward addressing them. Common traits include:
- Low self-worth: The child may base their value on how much they can please others.
- Difficulty asserting themselves: Saying “no” feels impossible, even when necessary.
- Over-apologizing: The child might say sorry excessively, even when they are not at fault.
- Accommodating others: Prioritizing everyone else’s needs while neglecting their own.
- Seeking praise and validation: Feeling valuable only when receiving positive feedback from others.
Children with these tendencies often undermine their own needs to “go with the flow” dictated by others. This leaves little room for self-awareness and personal growth, which are crucial for building confidence and resilience.
People-pleasing behaviors in children can have far-reaching consequences. Over time, the pressure to constantly meet others’ expectations can erode self-esteem, leaving the child feeling emotionally drained and unfulfilled.
Moreover, this constant striving to be agreeable and avoid rejection can lead to:
Resentment
A child may feel angry or frustrated when their needs are ignored, even if they’ve voluntarily suppressed them.
Relationship burnout
Overextending themselves to maintain relationships can make connections feel more like a burden than a joy.
Mental health challenges
The emotional toll of people-pleasing can contribute to anxiety, depression, and an overwhelming fear of abandonment.
Helping children break free from people-pleasing tendencies doesn’t mean discouraging kindness or generosity. Instead, it’s about fostering a balance between caring for others and valuing their own needs. Here’s how parents and caregivers can support children:
1. Show children how to prioritize their own needs without guilt. Demonstrate healthy boundaries in your interactions with others.
2. Provide a safe space for children to express their thoughts, preferences, and feelings without fear of judgment.
3. Help children understand that it’s okay to say “no” and that their worth is not tied to always pleasing others.
4. Celebrate their unique traits, likes, and interests to build their confidence in who they are.
5. Teach them that occasional disagreements or rejection are natural and not a reflection of their value.
Children who display people-pleasing behaviors often have big hearts and a deep desire to connect with others. While these traits are admirable, it’s essential to guide them toward a healthier expression of their compassion.
Kiara Advani and Sidharth Malhotra have become parents. They are blessed with their first child, a baby girl on July 15. Both the actors shared a joint statement, "Our hearts are full, and our world forever changed. We are blessed with a baby girl. Kiara & Sidharth."
As the couple welcomes their baby and get used to the new life, a lot more is to come for both. While parenthood is a blessing, it is also challenging. Welcoming a baby also means a period of postpartum for the mother. So, how does it all work out? How can mothers smoothly sway through this phase?
Postpartum brings a cascade of physical, emotional, and hormonal changes that deeply affect new mothers. “There are uterine changes, which means the uterus expands during the pregnancy and begins to shrink back to its pre-pregnancy size after childbirth. This may cause cramping,” explains Dr Sushma Pampanavar, gynecologist and obstetrician.
She adds, “Hormonal shifts, especially estrogen and progesterone drop rapidly after delivery, this can affect the mood.” Dr Pampanavar also points out that postpartum symptoms include “postpartum bleeding and discharge, also known as lochia, which goes on for a few weeks.”
Other physical changes involve engorged breasts, nipple sensitivity, and pelvic floor discomfort which can lead to urinary incontinence. “Your body goes through so many changes all at once,” she says, highlighting the layered transition women undergo physically and emotionally.
Dr Himanshu Nirvan, psychiatrist, elaborates on the emotional toll, stating that “persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness and irritability in mothers can lead to difficult bonding with the baby and thoughts of harming oneself or the baby.”
He warns that if left unaddressed, postpartum can “potentially strain the mother-child relationship, leading to feelings of detachment, neglect or irritability.” To support healing, he recommends, “Joining new parent groups, seeking online forums, attending support groups, and connecting with other mothers.”
Speaking about postpartum after pregnancy loss, Dr Avir Sarkar, gynecologist and assistant professor, says, “Experiencing a pregnancy loss, whether through surgical abortion or delivering a stillborn baby due to miscarriage, can indeed lead to a complex and emotional postpartum experience for women.”
He adds, “Women still experience bleeding, hormonal shifts and other postpartum symptoms, along with the profound emotional impact of pregnancy loss,” and suggests, “Allow yourself to grieve, express your emotions and seek support from loved ones and healthcare providers.”
In a world that glorifies productivity, “doing nothing” as a new mother sounds almost rebellious. Yet, for many postpartum women, embracing rest over relentless activity might be the most healing thing they can do. After childbirth, while the spotlight shines on the baby, the mother is often left to quietly cope with bleeding, sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, and emotional upheaval—all while being told to “bounce back.”
Cultural images of polished, picture-perfect new moms—like public figures stepping out in heels and makeup just hours after delivery—set dangerously unrealistic standards. But the truth is, the body takes time to heal. The uterus alone takes around six weeks to return to its pre-pregnancy size, and emotional recovery can take even longer. That’s why the idea of “doing nothing” in postpartum isn’t about laziness; it’s about reclaiming space to rest, bond, and recover.
Doing nothing may look like holding your baby while binge-watching TV, letting go of expectations around housework, or allowing cereal to be dinner more nights than not. It might involve skipping extra chores, saying no to guests, and prioritizing sleep whenever possible.
For multitasking moms especially, embracing this mindset can be tough. But those who slow down often find clarity and peace. As the article notes, pushing yourself too soon can lead to physical complications and emotional burnout, while accepting a slower pace can help you emerge stronger and more present.
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Learning how to drive is a big step of independence for children. It marks a phase where they learn responsibility, how to manage the autonomy they have gained as well as their way around different situations. There are many dangers associated with driving, hence there is a level of trust a parent must have before they let their teens drive. Whether it is others driving recklessly, difficult roads to travel in or themselves being careless. As teens are very well known for their lack of well-thought out actions, many of them find using their phones while driving normal.
A new study reveals a concerning trend: about one-fifth of the time, teenage drivers are looking at their smartphones instead of the road. This means they're not paying attention to what's in front of them or checking their mirrors.
The study, published in the journal Traffic Injury Prevention, found that teen drivers spend an average of 21% of each trip focused on their phone. What's more, these weren't just quick peeks. Nearly 27% of the time, drivers were looking at their phones for two seconds or longer. This amount of time dramatically increases the chance of a car crash.
So, what are teens doing on their phones while driving? The study showed:
Distracted driving is a serious threat to public safety, especially among young drivers. When someone drives while distracted, they're not just putting themselves at risk of injury or death; they're endangering everyone else on the road.
While 35 U.S. states have laws banning all phone use for young drivers, a previous national study found that nearly 92% of teens still regularly use their smartphones for texting, talking, or playing music while driving.
For this new study, researchers asked over 1,100 teenagers about their habits and beliefs regarding smartphone use while driving.
Many young drivers actually understand that bad things can happen when they're distracted. They also know that their parents and friends wouldn't want them using their phones while driving. Teens also strongly believe they can avoid distracted driving by using features like "Do Not Disturb," hands-free modes, or phone holders. They recognize the benefits of using phone features like GPS but also understand the higher risk of accidents when distracted.
However, teens also said that their friends often drive while distracted by their phones. This suggests that more teens might be giving in to the temptation than they're willing to admit.
Researchers suggest creating messages that challenge false beliefs about using phones while driving, such as the idea that you can still be productive on your phone while in transit. To help reduce this dangerous behavior, they recommend:
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Accidents can happen anytime and anywhere. Even if it is at school or at any other trust place. Health crisis may not seem like a big concern for school going children, however, understanding how unpredictable injuries and health concerns can be, it is important that emergency services are always ready. Many times, during these situations, a quick response is crucial, losing even moments could make or break the crisis.
However, what are the most likely health situations that can arise and how much should a school be worried about? New research reveals that U.S. schools should prioritize preparedness for three common health emergencies: brain-related crises, psychiatric/substance abuse issues, and trauma-related injuries. These three categories collectively account for approximately half of all emergency medical services (EMS) responses to schools.
A report published in the journal Pediatrics analyzed over 506,500 EMS calls to schools between 2018 and 2022, focusing on children aged 5 to 17. The study identified the following breakdown of emergency types:
The study also noted differences across age groups: elementary school students were more likely to require treatment for physical injuries (17%), while teenagers more frequently needed help for psychiatric conditions or substance abuse (18%).
Researchers emphasized the need for schools to enhance their emergency preparedness. He highlighted that timely treatment is crucial and suggested specific areas for staff training. According to US School Safety guidelines planning for emergencies must involve actions and daily routines that help create a secure school environment. These efforts can stop bad things from happening or lessen their impact if they do. Good planning also helps schools find and fix any weaknesses in their procedures and helps school staff and local emergency teams understand and handle their duties.
A key part of emergency planning is putting together a complete school emergency operations plan (EOP). This is a document that explains what students, teachers, and school staff should do before, during, and after an emergency.
Developing this plan should be a team effort. It needs a diverse group of people from the school, as well as local community partners. Schools should also plan to check, evaluate, and update their EOP regularly to keep it current and effective.
Doing training, exercises, and drills that are right for different age groups can also help schools get ready for emergencies. These activities help everyone in the school community know their roles before, during, and after an emergency. They also give people a chance to practice the steps outlined in the EOP and improve how prepared they are.
Exercises and drills should be customized to fit the specific school community, including students' ages and physical abilities. It's also important to balance these drills with the school's overall culture and atmosphere.
Schools and districts can also plan for how they'll recover from emergencies even before they happen. This can make the recovery process quicker and more effective. As part of this, school emergency management teams should have a general strategy and plan to help the school community recover academically, physically, emotionally, and financially after an emergency.
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