Growing up as the eldest child in a family often comes with a unique set of experiences. I remember taking on responsibilities early, helping my younger siblings with their homework, and often feeling like I was expected to be the 'mini-adult.' These experiences, while formative, also come with their own set of challenges.

Parenting older children, particularly the eldest, can be complex. Understanding their unique needs and experiences is crucial for fostering a supportive and nurturing environment.

The eldest child often carries the weight of higher expectations and responsibilities. This role can shape their development in various ways, both positively and negatively. Recognizing these dynamics can help parents provide the right support and balance.

Being the eldest can mean being a role model, caretaker, and sometimes a surrogate parent. This role, known as "parentification," can significantly impact an older child's emotional and psychological development. Understanding these dynamics is crucial for effective parenting.

Generic Notions and Characteristics of Oldest Children

- Often given more responsibilities at a young age.

- Expected to act as a role model and manage tasks independently.

- Seen as dependable and trustworthy by family members.

- Frequently take on leadership roles within the family.

- May experience pressure to meet high expectations.

- Typically develop strong organizational skills due to their role.

Impact of Parentification

Parentified children may experience feelings of resentment, stress, or a loss of their own childhood experiences. They might struggle with balancing their roles and their personal development. Recognizing these signs and providing emotional support is essential in mitigating the effects of parentification.

Parents can support their eldest child by acknowledging their unique position and providing opportunities for them to express their feelings and needs. Encouraging open communication, allowing them to have their own interests, and balancing responsibilities can help alleviate some of the pressures they face.

It’s important to create a nurturing environment where the eldest child feels valued and understood. Providing them with emotional support and affirming their own needs can help them navigate their responsibilities without feeling overwhelmed.

Parenting older children, especially the eldest, involves understanding the fine line between responsibility and overburdening. It’s essential to offer love, encouragement, and a safe space where they can be themselves and express their emotions. It’s okay for them to be a child and seek affection and support. Balancing their responsibilities with their need for personal growth and emotional well-being can lead to a healthier and more fulfilling family dynamic.

Maternal vaccination with the COVID-19 vaccine during pregnancy can be effective against severe disease and hospitalization from the SARS-CoV-2 virus in babies, according to a large study.

The study, published in the journal Pediatrics, revealed that COVID vaccination during pregnancy can protect the children against hospitalization for COVID during the first six months of life.

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Amid continuing COVID cases, babies under six months old continue to have one of the highest rates of hospitalization — one in five — due to the COVID virus in the US, as per a 2024 study.

As currently no vaccines against COVID are available for neonates and babies, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends maternal vaccination during pregnancy.

Maternal COVID Vaccination Prevented Other Infections

The retrospective study included 146,031 infants born in Norway between March 2021 and December 2023. Of these, 37, 013 (25 percent) were exposed to COVID-19 vaccination in utero.

The findings showed that babies exposed to the vaccine before birth were no more likely to visit the hospital for overall infections (of any kind) than those whose mothers did not get vaccinated in pregnancy.

However, infants whose mothers were vaccinated were about half as likely to visit the hospital specifically for COVID in their first two months of life compared to babies not exposed to the vaccine in utero.

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Among 3 to 5-month-old babies, the risk of a hospital visit for COVID was 24 percent lower in those exposed to the vaccine, but the vaccine's protection against COVID wore off by the time infants were older than 6 months.

Importantly, the mothers' vaccine also prevented the risk of other infections in children.

"There is often an increased risk for a subsequent infection after a viral infection, such as an increased risk of pneumonia after influenza infection, so we wanted to study whether protection against COVID-19 could influence the risk of other infections as well," said lead author Dr. Helena Niemi Eide, from the University of Oslo in Norway, the NPR reported.

"But we found that COVID vaccination in pregnancy protected the infant against COVID and had no apparent effect on other infections," Eide added.

Maternal Vaccine Recommendation in the US

Last week, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists reiterated its recommendation for COVID vaccination during pregnancy.

Despite changes in federal vaccine recommendations due to the US Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s anti-vaccine stance, the ACOG urged COVID vaccination for

• people who are pregnant,
• recently pregnant,
• considering pregnancy,
• lactating.

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"Accumulated safety data from millions of administered doses show no increased risk of adverse maternal, fetal, or neonatal outcomes associated with COVID-19 vaccination in pregnancy,” the ACOG said.

When 36-year-old mom Angela Sanford, from Fort Mill, SC, went for an appointment for a Pap smear five years after she had her first child in 2008, her nurse midwife, who she has never seen before asked her a question she did not expect. "Who stitched you up after your first birth?"

Speaking to Healthline, Sanford shared that she just started crying when the nurse said, "This is not right." Sanford said that this was the first time she ever heard the term 'husband stitch'. Sanford was told that her stich was "too tight" by the hospitalist who managed her after her first delivery.

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“He gave you what some people call a husband stitch,” Sanford recalled the midwife telling her.

“I couldn’t connect in my mind why it would be called that. My midwife said, ‘They think that some men find it more pleasurable,’” she recalled. “My husband has been worried about me and fearful of hurting me. He would never have asked for this.”

A 'Husband Stich' - What Is It?

During vaginal delivery, a woman undergoes perineal tears or vaginal lacerations which means tears between the vaginal opening and anus. This causes pain, and requires stitches for grades two and higher. It also takes 4 to 6 weeks to heal. Women can experience from first to fourth degree tears.

Sometimes, a surgical incision is made in the perineum during childbirth to enlarge the vaginal opening, this is called an episiotomy. However, it is not medically necessary or a routine procedure, unless it is a case of emergency.

Stiches are required in such cases that dissolves on its own. However, a 'husband stitch', also known as "daddy stitch" is an unethical practice where an extra stitch is given during the repair process that 'tightens the vagina' to increase sexual pleasure for a male partner. While it is considered a medical malpractice, it is still done to women after vaginal delivery.

Many women face difficulty after the extra stich is given to them. In Sanford's case, she felt "excruciating" pain during sex afterwards.

Read: Romanticization And The Silent Dismissal Of Women’s Pain

When Objectifying Women's Bodies Is Made A Medical Practice

Stephanie Tillman, CNM, a certified nurse midwife at the University of Illinois at Chicago and blogger at The Feminist Midwife told Healthline: “The fact that there is even a practice called the husband stitch is a perfect example of the intersection of the objectification of women’s bodies and healthcare. As much as we try to remove the sexualization of women from appropriate obstetric care, of course the patriarchy is going to find its way in there."

Harkins, 37, said that she "kind of" laughed it off when an "old, crusty Army doctor" overstitched her so she could give her husband more pleasure. In many cases, doctors do it as a routine practice without even being told by anyone. “I couldn’t even process [it], but I kind of laughed, like what else do you do when someone says that? I had just had a baby. I didn’t think much about it because the whole birth experience was so traumatizing, but now that I think about it differently, the implications of that are just crazy.”

Episiotomy Is An Excuse For 'Husband Stitch'

Dr Robert Barbieri, chair of obstetrics and gynecology and reproductive biology at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, told the Huffington Post that doctors were taught in the 50s and 60s that "routine episiotomy was good for women".

“What they thought is that if they did a routine episiotomy, they’d have a chance to repair it and that during the repair, they could actually create a better perineum than if they hadn’t done it. The idea [was] that we could ‘tighten things up,’” explains doctor.

However, a 2005 systematic review in the Journal of the American Medical Association found no benefit to routine episiotomy use. A 2017 Cochrane review “could not identify any benefits of routine episiotomy for the baby or the mother.” In 2016, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommended that clinicians “prevent and manage” delivery lacerations through strategies like massage and warm compresses rather than making cuts on the perineum. Yet, this practice still continues inside the labor rooms.