Tanya Dutt

International Men's Day: How Society's 'Man Up' Mentality Is Impacting Mental Health Of Young Men

How Society's 'Man Up' Mentality Is Impacting Mental Health Of Young Men

<span>Toxic masculinity</span> isn't just a societal stereotype—it's a harmful set of expectations that dictate how men should behave, often at the cost of their mental health. The pressure to conform to these outdated ideals forces men to suppress emotions, chase unrealistic goals, and develop unhealthy coping mechanisms. This International Men’s Day, it's time we rethink the narrative and focus on healthier ways to define masculinity.

At just 12 years old, my cousin Aryan already faced the weight of societal expectations he couldn’t fully understand. One afternoon, after scraping his knee during a football game, he burst into tears. His coach immediately scolded him, "Be a man! Men don’t cry. Toughen up, it’s just a part of the game." Aryan quickly wiped his tears, eager to avoid being labeled as weak in front of his friends.

Later that day, while his mother was preparing dinner, Aryan, fascinated by the process, got up to flip the roti. From across the room, his father, without hesitation, remarked, “You’re a man now, no need to be in the kitchen. Come sit and relax with me.” 

These experiences, though seemingly small, are part of the broader societal conditioning that teaches boys from a young age to equate masculinity with emotional suppression, dominance, and emotional unavailability. This is the very essence of what psychologists identify as toxic masculinity—a set of cultural norms that encourage men to ignore their emotional needs, often leading to long-term mental health struggles.

<h2>Link Between Toxic Masculinity and Men's Mental Health Struggles</h2>

From an early age, boys are taught that emotions like sadness or vulnerability are signs of weakness. According to Bobby Thakur, a psychologist at Counsel India, phrases like "man up" and "boys don’t cry" perpetuate the idea that expressing emotions is unacceptable. As these young boys grow into adults, they are burdened with an overwhelming need to meet unrealistic standards of success, whether it be in their careers, physical appearance, or social standing.

Thakur explains, "Young men often feel trapped. They are pressured to excel in every aspect of life, which leads to emotional isolation, stress, and a higher risk of mental health issues." The pressure to be stoic and unfeeling can be devastating. As boys grow into men, the inability to express their emotions healthily often leads to anxiety, depression, and heightened levels of aggression.

<h2>How Suppressing Emotions Hurts your Mental Health?</h2>

When emotions are constantly suppressed, young men often struggle to find healthy outlets for their stress, leading to a vicious cycle of negative coping mechanisms. Thakur notes that this emotional repression can result in mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, and in some cases, substance abuse. Many young men turn to alcohol or drugs to numb the emotional pain they feel but are unable to express.

The stigma surrounding mental health in men exacerbates these struggles. "In a culture where vulnerability is seen as a weakness, many young men are reluctant to seek help until their problems have spiraled out of control," Thakur adds. The lack of emotional support and the belief that seeking help is a sign of failure only deepens the isolation men face when dealing with mental health challenges.

<h2>Why 'Man Up' Should Be Replaced with 'Let's Talk'</h2>

One of the biggest societal challenges is the constant reinforcement of the 'man up' mentality. From media portrayals of muscular, emotionally stoic men to the glorification of power and success, society has created an unrealistic and damaging image of what it means to be a man. These ideals can leave young men feeling inadequate, emotionally exhausted, and ultimately disconnected from their true selves.

Boys are taught that success is about being dominant and in control, which leaves little room for emotional expression. As a result, they feel pressured to meet unattainable standards, leading to feelings of anxiety, depression, and isolation. These mental health issues often remain unaddressed because vulnerability is stigmatized.

<h2>How we Can Help Young Men to share their Emotional struggles?</h2>

Bobby Thakur emphasizes that the current narrative around masculinity needs to evolve. "True strength lies in emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and the courage to seek help when needed." To create a healthier future for young men, society must prioritize open discussions about mental health and encourage emotional expression.

Here are some ways to foster a healthier understanding of masculinity and mental health:

1. Encourage boys to share their emotions without the fear of judgment or ridicule.

2. Teach young men the value of understanding and managing their emotions.

3. Use media and education to dismantle the glorification of toxic masculine traits.

4. Create a supportive environment where seeking therapy and mental health resources is seen as a strength, not a weakness.

As Thakur puts it, "The true measure of masculinity is not in the suppression of emotions but in the courage to embrace them authentically." Changing the narrative around masculinity is critical to ensuring the mental well-being of future generations. By fostering an environment where young men can openly discuss their struggles and embrace emotional vulnerability, we can break the cycle of toxic masculinity and its harmful impact on mental health.

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Toxic masculinity isn't just a societal stereotype—it's a harmful set of expectations that dictate how men should behave, often at the cost of their mental health. The pressure to conform to these outdated ideals forces men to suppress emotions, chase unrealistic goals, and develop unhealthy coping mechanisms. This International Men’s Day, it's time we rethink the narrative and focus on healthier ways to define masculinity.At just 12 years old, my cousin Aryan already faced the weight of societal expectations he couldn’t fully understand. One afternoon, after scraping his knee during a football game, he burst into tears. His coach immediately scolded him, "Be a man! Men don’t cry. Toughen up, it’s just a part of the game." Aryan quickly wiped his tears, eager to avoid being labeled as weak in front of his friends.Later that day, while his mother was preparing dinner, Aryan, fascinated by the process, got up to flip the roti. From across the room, his father, without hesitation, remarked, “You’re a man now, no need to be in the kitchen. Come sit and relax with me.” These experiences, though seemingly small, are part of the broader societal conditioning that teaches boys from a young age to equate masculinity with emotional suppression, dominance, and emotional unavailability. This is the very essence of what psychologists identify as toxic masculinity—a set of cultural norms that encourage men to ignore their emotional needs, often leading to long-term mental health struggles.Link Between Toxic Masculinity and Men's Mental Health StrugglesFrom an early age, boys are taught that emotions like sadness or vulnerability are signs of weakness. According to Bobby Thakur, a psychologist at Counsel India, phrases like "man up" and "boys don’t cry" perpetuate the idea that expressing emotions is unacceptable. As these young boys grow into adults, they are burdened with an overwhelming need to meet unrealistic standards of success, whether it be in their careers, physical appearance, or social standing.Thakur explains, "Young men often feel trapped. They are pressured to excel in every aspect of life, which leads to emotional isolation, stress, and a higher risk of mental health issues." The pressure to be stoic and unfeeling can be devastating. As boys grow into men, the inability to express their emotions healthily often leads to anxiety, depression, and heightened levels of aggression.How Suppressing Emotions Hurts your Mental Health?When emotions are constantly suppressed, young men often struggle to find healthy outlets for their stress, leading to a vicious cycle of negative coping mechanisms. Thakur notes that this emotional repression can result in mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, and in some cases, substance abuse. Many young men turn to alcohol or drugs to numb the emotional pain they feel but are unable to express.The stigma surrounding mental health in men exacerbates these struggles. "In a culture where vulnerability is seen as a weakness, many young men are reluctant to seek help until their problems have spiraled out of control," Thakur adds. The lack of emotional support and the belief that seeking help is a sign of failure only deepens the isolation men face when dealing with mental health challenges.Why 'Man Up' Should Be Replaced with 'Let's Talk'One of the biggest societal challenges is the constant reinforcement of the 'man up' mentality. From media portrayals of muscular, emotionally stoic men to the glorification of power and success, society has created an unrealistic and damaging image of what it means to be a man. These ideals can leave young men feeling inadequate, emotionally exhausted, and ultimately disconnected from their true selves.Boys are taught that success is about being dominant and in control, which leaves little room for emotional expression. As a result, they feel pressured to meet unattainable standards, leading to feelings of anxiety, depression, and isolation. These mental health issues often remain unaddressed because vulnerability is stigmatized.How we Can Help Young Men to share their Emotional struggles?Bobby Thakur emphasizes that the current narrative around masculinity needs to evolve. "True strength lies in emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and the courage to seek help when needed." To create a healthier future for young men, society must prioritize open discussions about mental health and encourage emotional expression.Here are some ways to foster a healthier understanding of masculinity and mental health:1. Encourage boys to share their emotions without the fear of judgment or ridicule.2. Teach young men the value of understanding and managing their emotions.3. Use media and education to dismantle the glorification of toxic masculine traits.4. Create a supportive environment where seeking therapy and mental health resources is seen as a strength, not a weakness.As Thakur puts it, "The true measure of masculinity is not in the suppression of emotions but in the courage to embrace them authentically." Changing the narrative around masculinity is critical to ensuring the mental well-being of future generations. By fostering an environment where young men can openly discuss their struggles and embrace emotional vulnerability, we can break the cycle of toxic masculinity and its harmful impact on mental health.