Tough love, often misunderstood as harsh or uncaring, can be a valuable parenting strategy when applied appropriately. It involves setting clear expectations, enforcing boundaries, and providing consequences for negative behaviour while also offering love, support, and guidance. While tough love may seem counterintuitive, it can have significant benefits for a child's development and the parent-child relationship.

Tough love—a strategy that blends setting clear expectations with unconditional support—has emerged as a pivotal method for fostering resilience and independence in children. While often misconstrued as harshness, tough love encourages kids to face challenges head-on, learn from their mistakes, and develop essential life skills.

With established boundaries and holding children accountable, parents can cultivate an environment where kids thrive emotionally and practically. This delicate balance of discipline and affection is vital for nurturing well-rounded individuals prepared to navigate the complexities of adulthood.

Reasons why Tough Love is Important

Tough love can be misunderstood especially by children as malice or ignorance, and while that is disheartening, as parents we must take it in stride and do our best!

Building Resilience

Tough love can help children develop resilience by teaching them to cope with challenges and setbacks. When children face adversity, it can help them build the strength and perseverance they need to overcome future obstacles.

Setting Boundaries

Establishing clear boundaries and consequences can help children understand expectations and learn self-discipline. By setting limits and enforcing rules, parents can help children develop a sense of structure and responsibility.

Preventing Future Problems

Tough love can help prevent future problems by addressing negative behaviours early on. By addressing issues such as defiance, aggression, or substance abuse, parents can help their children avoid more serious consequences in the future.

Fostering Independence

Allowing children to face challenges and make their own decisions can foster independence and self-reliance. By giving children opportunities to learn from their mistakes and take responsibility for their actions, parents can help them develop a sense of autonomy and self-sufficiency.

Teaching Responsibility

Tough love can teach children to take responsibility for their actions and the consequences of their choices. By holding children accountable for their behaviour, parents can help them develop a sense of responsibility and accountability.

Breaking Bad Habits

Tough love can help break bad habits and encourage positive behaviour changes. By setting clear expectations and providing consequences for negative behaviour, parents can help their children develop healthier habits and behaviours.

Preparing for the Real World

The real world is not always kind or forgiving, and tough love can help prepare children for the challenges they will face. By teaching children the importance of hard work, perseverance, and responsibility, parents can help them develop the skills they need to succeed in life.

Showing Love

Tough love is not about being harsh or uncaring. It's about showing love and support in a way that helps children grow and develop. By setting limits and enforcing consequences, parents can demonstrate their love and commitment to their children's well-being.

Preventing Enabling

Tough love can prevent parents from enabling their children's negative behaviours. By avoiding rescuing children from the consequences of their actions, parents can help them learn from their mistakes and develop problem-solving skills.

Building a Stronger Relationship

Tough love can actually strengthen the parent-child relationship by fostering trust, respect, and communication. By setting clear expectations and enforcing boundaries, parents can demonstrate their love and commitment to their children's well-being. This can help build a strong and healthy relationship that will last a lifetime.

Raising a child is not the easiest job. In fact, everyday feels like a new test. Somedays you would find yourself jumping to finish cleaning your child's toys even when you asked them to do. On other days, you would have a meltdown, but will have to manage to stop it.

But while you do all of these, there may be certain actions that may make your child into a struggling adult.

Child psychologist, and professor Daniel J Moran, of Touro University New York, told Newsweek, "Parents...are working overtime to make their children's lives smooth and happy. The intention is love, [but[ the outcome is often dependency."

This happens when parents remove discomfort from a child's life. The above example of the parent picking up child's toys is one such instance. If one has to apply science into it, children learn confidence by experiencing consequences and discovering that they can handle it. If parents get everything done for them, they will never know if they could handle a certain situation.

Moran says that true resilience comes from "hearing to stay present, feel the hard stuff and keep moving toward what matters."

Three Common Habits And Actions Of Parents That Could Take Away Their Child's Independence And Make Them A Struggling Adult

Fix Instead of Coach: This happens when parents jump in to solve every problem on their own. This teaches the kids that they do not have to work things on their own. Instead of fixing, parents must coach their kids, guide them into solving things.

Overpraising: While appreciating one's effort, especially when a child does something big for the first time is important. However, continuously praising your child on a day to day basis, without having to achieve something new or special could remove the learning value of effort and feedback. For every activity that a child does, praise is not the only feedback, it could also be critical in nature.

Overscheduling: Parents often feel the urge to teach their child everything, especially the things they wanted to learn as kids, but never got to. However, it leaves little room for boredom, which is dangerous, as Moran says that boredom is a place, "where creativity and self direction grow".

So, What Can Parents Do?

Moran says that the parents should let their kids "struggle safely". Parents can also model questions of acceptance of mistakes and ask reflective questions, such as "who do you want to be right now?"

"If we want confident, capable young adults, we have to let kids practice being uncomfortable,” Moran says. "Confidence doesn’t come from constant praise, but comes from persistence, problem-solving and purpose. A little discomfort today can build the psychological flexibility they’ll need tomorrow.”

Dr Samantha Whiten, clinical psychologist, owner of Best Life Behavioral Health tells Newsweek that overhelping often encourages overdependence. " Doing everything for your child when they can physically do things for themselves... trains them to depend on you for everything versus being proud and confident in what they can master on their own,” she says.

So Whiten recommends a steady approach that can build confidence. The first step is to demonstrate the task and let the child try it while you observe. Then leave the room, observe from afar, because you leaving the room would mean that you are confident in your child.

Allergies are common, and anyone can develop them at any age. An allergy is an immune response that occurs when the body mistakes a harmless substance for a threat.. This then causes your body to overreact, leading to symptoms that range from mild to life threatening. One of the most common allergens is peanuts. However, recent studies have shown that there is a way we can lower the risk of developing this allergy.

A new study has found that food allergies in young children have fallen sharply since 2017, when the guidelines for introducing common allergens into the child’s diet were changed.

For many years, experts advised parents to avoid giving common allergens to their babies because allergy rates were climbing. However, a major study in 2015 discovered that feeding peanuts to infants could slash their risk of developing a peanut allergy by over 80%. Based on this finding, the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases issued official guidelines in 2017 recommending this early-introduction approach.

How Much Did Peanut Allergy Cases Go Down?

The study, published in the journal Pediatrics, analyzed food allergy rates in children under the age of three before and after the 2017 guidelines were issued. The results showed a significant decline:

• Overall food allergies dropped to 0.93% between 2017 and 2020, down from 1.46% between 2012 and 2015.
• This represents a 36% reduction in all food allergies.
• The decline was mainly driven by a huge 43% drop in peanut allergies.
• The study noted that eggs have now taken over peanuts as the most common food allergen in young children.

Can People Outgrow Allergies?

While the study didn't directly track what infants were fed, the data is highly encouraging because the drop in allergies happened right after the new guidelines were put into effect.

While the results are highly encouraging, the study noted that many doctors and parents still haven't fully adopted the new advice. Surveys show that full compliance remains low among both pediatricians and caregivers.

The study also found shifts in the racial and ethnic breakdown of children diagnosed with food allergies. Compared to the pre-guidelines period, there were fewer food-allergic children who were Black, Asian or Pacific Islander, and Hispanic in the post-guidelines period, with an increased proportion of White children. The researchers noted that these changes might reflect differences in how easily different groups can access healthcare and information about the new feeding practices.

Experts see this as a major public health success. Experts see this as a major public health success, noting that the data provide real-world evidence of how a simple public health recommendation can improve children’s health. This is particularly important for peanut allergies, which 80% of people never outgrow and can be life-threatening.

While the reasons for food allergies are still not completely understood, some scientists believe factors like higher rates of C-section births, early use of antibiotics, and increasingly sanitized environments may still play a role. However, the data suggests that early introduction is a powerful tool to protect children.

While most pregnancies normally and do not have any serious complications, notes Johns Hopkins Medicine, sometimes rare complications can occur and it can then interfere with normal fetal development. In such a case, Australian nutritionist and social media influencer Stacey Hatfield tragically passed away. Her husband described it as an “extremely rare complication” during childbirth. The 30-year-old Melbourne native was known for promoting toxin-free living and wholesome recipes under the handle @naturalspoonfuls, where she had more than 17,000 followers.

Hatfield’s pregnancy had been filled with joy and anticipation. She and her husband, Nathan Warnecke, were just two months away from celebrating their first wedding anniversary when she went into labour at home on September 29.

She gave birth to a healthy baby boy, Axel, fulfilling what Warnecke said was her “biggest dream in life — to be a mum.” But moments after delivering her son, the “unimaginable” occurred.

A Tragic Turn After Birth

According to Warnecke, Hatfield developed an “unforeseen and extremely rare complication” immediately after childbirth. She was rushed to the hospital, where medical staff did everything they could to save her life.

“Hospital staff were amazing and did the utmost to help, but ultimately nothing could be done despite their best efforts,” Warnecke said in a social media post announcing her passing. “Words can’t do justice to how devastating this is for myself and everyone that knew and loved her.”

He shared that Hatfield’s final moments were filled with love and happiness as she held her newborn son in her arms. “She held Axel when he was born, nursed him, saw that he was a boy, and loved him,” he wrote. “She loved him so much and still continues to love him.”

Remembering a “Lighthouse in the Storm”

Warnecke, who called Stacey his “beautiful wife, soulmate, and best friend,” said her passing has left a void that words cannot fill. “I knew Stace for nine amazing years — she was the light of my life and the reason I got up in the morning,” he said. “She was my lighthouse in the storm, and the world is less bright without her in it.”

He described her as “the most beautiful, loving, caring, hardworking, disciplined, intelligent, and trustworthy human being” he had ever known.

Community Support for the Family

In the wake of the tragedy, family, friends, and the wider community have come together to support Warnecke and baby Axel. A GoFundMe page has raised more than $20,000 to help cover funeral expenses, childcare, and household costs as the grieving family adjusts to life without Stacey.

What Are Some Of The Rarest Pregnancy Complications That Can Kill The Mother?

• Lower Urinary Tract Obstruction: a rare fatal condition that occurs when there is a blockage in the urinary tract of a developing fetus. In this condition, the urine cannot be drained, and the fluid around the fetus decreases.

• Amniotic Fluid Embolism: this is when amniotic fluid, cells, hair, or fecal matter of the baby enters the mother's blood circulation and leads to conditions like Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation (DIC).

• Pulmonary Embolism: this happens when the blood in mother becomes more coagulable and could sometimes form blood clots, known as thrombosis.
• Uterine Rupture: it is a rare complication, where the risk of it happening is less than 1%. If it occurs, it usually happens during labor.