Is Tough Love Necessary In Parenting To Build Resilient And Independent Kids?

Updated Oct 11, 2024 | 08:00 AM IST

SummaryTough love, while often misunderstood, can be a valuable parenting strategy when applied appropriately. Here are 10 reasons why tough love might be necessary for your child's development.
Tough Love parenting (Credit-Canva)

Tough Love parenting (Credit-Canva)

Tough love, often misunderstood as harsh or uncaring, can be a valuable parenting strategy when applied appropriately. It involves setting clear expectations, enforcing boundaries, and providing consequences for negative behaviour while also offering love, support, and guidance. While tough love may seem counterintuitive, it can have significant benefits for a child's development and the parent-child relationship.

Tough love—a strategy that blends setting clear expectations with unconditional support—has emerged as a pivotal method for fostering resilience and independence in children. While often misconstrued as harshness, tough love encourages kids to face challenges head-on, learn from their mistakes, and develop essential life skills.

With established boundaries and holding children accountable, parents can cultivate an environment where kids thrive emotionally and practically. This delicate balance of discipline and affection is vital for nurturing well-rounded individuals prepared to navigate the complexities of adulthood.

Reasons why Tough Love is Important

Tough love can be misunderstood especially by children as malice or ignorance, and while that is disheartening, as parents we must take it in stride and do our best!

Building Resilience

Tough love can help children develop resilience by teaching them to cope with challenges and setbacks. When children face adversity, it can help them build the strength and perseverance they need to overcome future obstacles.

Setting Boundaries

Establishing clear boundaries and consequences can help children understand expectations and learn self-discipline. By setting limits and enforcing rules, parents can help children develop a sense of structure and responsibility.

Preventing Future Problems

Tough love can help prevent future problems by addressing negative behaviours early on. By addressing issues such as defiance, aggression, or substance abuse, parents can help their children avoid more serious consequences in the future.

Fostering Independence

Allowing children to face challenges and make their own decisions can foster independence and self-reliance. By giving children opportunities to learn from their mistakes and take responsibility for their actions, parents can help them develop a sense of autonomy and self-sufficiency.

Teaching Responsibility

Tough love can teach children to take responsibility for their actions and the consequences of their choices. By holding children accountable for their behaviour, parents can help them develop a sense of responsibility and accountability.

Breaking Bad Habits

Tough love can help break bad habits and encourage positive behaviour changes. By setting clear expectations and providing consequences for negative behaviour, parents can help their children develop healthier habits and behaviours.

Preparing for the Real World

The real world is not always kind or forgiving, and tough love can help prepare children for the challenges they will face. By teaching children the importance of hard work, perseverance, and responsibility, parents can help them develop the skills they need to succeed in life.

Showing Love

Tough love is not about being harsh or uncaring. It's about showing love and support in a way that helps children grow and develop. By setting limits and enforcing consequences, parents can demonstrate their love and commitment to their children's well-being.

Preventing Enabling

Tough love can prevent parents from enabling their children's negative behaviours. By avoiding rescuing children from the consequences of their actions, parents can help them learn from their mistakes and develop problem-solving skills.

Building a Stronger Relationship

Tough love can actually strengthen the parent-child relationship by fostering trust, respect, and communication. By setting clear expectations and enforcing boundaries, parents can demonstrate their love and commitment to their children's well-being. This can help build a strong and healthy relationship that will last a lifetime.

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Men's Mental Health Week 2025: This Is What Happens When You Teach Boys To Feel, Not Just Fight

Updated Jun 12, 2025 | 04:00 AM IST

SummaryWhen boys are taught to express their feelings not just suppress them, they grow into men who form healthier relationships, communicate better, and break free from the damaging cycle of emotional repression.
Men's Mental Health Week 2025: This Is What Happens When You Teach Boys To Feel, Not Just Fight

Credits: Freepik

Men's Mental Health Week is a movement that highlights the unique mental health challenges men face. It encourages open communication, emotional connection, and breaking the stigma over vulnerability. Through early intervention, emotional literacy, and support structures, the week seeks to empower men towards prioritizing mental health without shame.

We make men out of boys to be tough, bold, and brave, but at what expense? Studies reveal that stifling emotions early in life can have long-term effects. Anxiety, depression, addiction, and anger disorders tend to stem from childhood environments where emotions were discouraged. Yet, the world still encourages boys to be emotionally stoic, confusing silence with strength and holding things in as bravery.

Men's Mental Health Week highlights these problems, providing an international forum to break down the cultural, psychological, and emotional barriers that isolate men from themselves and from others. This year, the theme is concise but powerful: emotional fluency is strength. With mental health specialists, educators, and parents uniting, a message emerges clearly—change begins early. And it starts not only by instructing boys what not to feel, but by demonstrating them how to feel, express, and process what's inside.

When Boys Are Taught to Suppress, Men Struggle to Cope

A lot of adults nowadays are products of a childhood in which emotional expression was discouraged—particularly among boys. The "man up" culture instructed them to swallow their tears, muzzle their fears, and cover up their insecurities. But emotions don't go away just because they're suppressed. Unaddressed emotions seep through later in life as anxiety, irritability, depression, drug and alcohol abuse, or aberrant relationships. Men who weren't instructed in emotional skills become men who chase emotional anesthetization because they never learned to feel safely to begin with.

One of the most prevalent emotional coping strategies for men is blame—an outward deflection of internal conflict. When painful emotions such as fear, sadness, or shame are not worked through internally, they start to spill over. Rather than labeling or working with such feelings, men tend to resort to blaming others: their girlfriends, their coworkers, or even themselves.

Blame is an easy release valve—a means of pushing off discomfort instead of dealing with it. It tastes invigorating for a moment but has permanent harm. In one anecdotal example, a man describes how his unaddressed anger ultimately poisoned the people he loved the most. It wasn't until he noticed this pattern and the hurt behind it that healing and authentic connection started for him.

Why Emotional Awareness Isn't Soft

Educating boys about emotional awareness isn't about making them "soft." Instead, it makes them better decision-makers, more accomplished relationship-builders, and more resilient grown men. When men know what they feel, they gain the power to decide how to react, rather than blindly reacting.

This emotional intelligence does not only assist men in dealing with conflict—it assists them in flourishing. Whether selecting a profession that would value their principles, establishing supportive partnerships, or being emotionally available dads, emotional fluency opens doors, instead of closing them.

Teaching Boys the Language of Emotions

So, how do we start? Body awareness is the foundation. Emotions appear initially in the form of bodily sensations—tightness in the chest, lump in the throat, flutter in the belly. It is important to teach boys to identify these warnings and link them with emotional events.

Then parents and teachers can help enable safe emotional expression. When a boy tells you how he's feeling, don't correct him or tell him to "toughen up." Instead, respond with curiosity and compassion. Ask questions such as, "What do you think made you feel that way?" or "What do you need in this moment?" This both affirms his experience and builds his emotional vocabulary.

Along the way, this establishes trust—with oneself and others. Someday, when these boys become men and find themselves with other men—maybe in locker rooms, workplaces, or group texts—they won't tumble into emotionally dysfunctional patterns such as teasing, denial, or aggression. Instead, they'll have the skills to respond in ways that demonstrate emotional maturity.

Restoring masculinity doesn't involve abandoning it—it involves redefining it. The most powerful men aren't the ones who never weep or get wounded. They're the ones who notice when they have, own up to it, and learn from it.

True masculinity, in the best possible way, is based on empathy, responsibility, and self-mastery. When boys are instructed that emotions aren't vulnerabilities but indicators—like hunger or tiredness—they no longer fear exposure and begin to cherish authenticity.

Parents play a critical role here. Modeling emotional openness, apologizing when you’ve overreacted, or simply sharing your own feelings openly can set a powerful example for your sons. Remember- when boys feel safe being emotionally honest at home, they carry that strength into every part of their lives.

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Healthy Sleeping Habits For Children Are Directly Linked To How Healthy Their Family Life Is

Updated Jun 11, 2025 | 08:00 PM IST

SummarySleeping habits may seem unrelated to things like home environment, diet or lifestyle habits of people, however, new study shows that it could directly affect children and their health.
Healthy Sleeping Habits For Children Are Directly Linked To How Healthy Their Family Life Is

(Credit-Canva)

Ever notice how a happy home makes everything feel better? Well, a new study suggests that a happy family life can actually help kids between the ages of 9 and 12, what we call tweens, get more sleep.

A happy and healthy home environment is necessary for proper growth and well-being of children. While you may think that parents not interacting with their children may not affect them as much, the truth of the matter is that children intentionally seek their parents for acknowledgement and approval. These play an important role in helping children learn life skills like socializing and interpersonal relations, while also helping them gain confidence, healthy mindset, etc. However, could their home environment, also affect their physical health directly?

Experts are going to present this research at the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM). What they found is that kids with strong family connections and parents who are really involved in their lives tend to sleep for longer periods.

Strong Family Ties Promote Longer Sleep

The study looked at almost 5,000 kids in that 9-to-11 age range. It found some really interesting things about what helps kids sleep more:

Involved Parents: If parents were highly involved in their kids' lives, over half (51%) of those kids got enough sleep.

Family Dinners: Eating dinner together as a family also seemed to help, with 48% of those kids getting enough sleep.

Planning Tomorrow: When families talked about their plans for the next day, 48% of those kids slept well too.

Neighborhood Fun: Even simple things like kids joining in activities in their neighborhood were linked to more sleep.

Importance of Sleep for Tweens

You might think adults need a lot of sleep, but kids actually need even more! The experts at the AASM say that kids aged 6 to 12 should get 9 to 12 hours of sleep every night. This is super important for their overall health and for how well their brains and bodies grow.

The researchers gathered information during the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. They knew the pandemic had messed with kids' sleep, so they wanted to see if having strong family connections could act as a kind of shield, protecting their sleep.

Researchers found a few things that could influence the child’s sleep habits or cycle negatively, which are:

Too Much Screen Time Socializing: Kids who used screens a lot to connect with friends (like on social media or games) got less sleep, with only 40% of them sleeping enough.

Little Parent Interaction: If kids didn't talk much with their parents, only 42% of them got enough sleep.

Future Implications for Child Well-being

These findings really highlight that having a good social life and strong family bonds is important for healthy sleep. Researchers hope these results can help create future campaigns or programs that encourage positive social connections, ultimately making kids healthier and happier.

One thing you should keep in mind is that these findings are being shared at a medical meeting, so they're considered early results. They'll need to be published in a scientific journal after being reviewed by other experts before they're considered final.

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Kids’ Tongues Show Signs Of Illness, Reveals Study

Updated Jun 9, 2025 | 02:00 PM IST

SummaryThis article highlights the crucial role of tongue hygiene in overall oral health, comparing needs across age groups and emphasizing regular cleaning to prevent disease.
A New Study Reveals That Kids’ Tongues Show Signs of Illness

Credits: Canva

Oral health is more than just clean teeth and fresh breath—it’s a window into overall health. While most people prioritize brushing and flossing, tongue hygiene often goes ignored. This oversight can lead to problems such as bad breath (halitosis), altered taste, dry mouth, infections, and even systemic health issues. A new review published in journal Cureus, part of Springer Nature, titled Importance of a Healthy Tongue: Could It Be a Reflection of Overall Health in Children? highlights the importance of maintaining a healthy tongue and draws attention to its role in both pediatric and adult oral care.

Why Tongue Health Matters

The tongue is a multifunctional organ, vital for chewing, swallowing, speaking, and tasting. It’s covered with papillae that contain taste buds and serve as a breeding ground for bacteria if not cleaned regularly. Food particles and microorganisms can get trapped, especially on the dorsum of the tongue, causing bad breath and increasing the risk of infections like oral thrush.

Children under 18 months are especially vulnerable due to underdeveloped oral routines and exposure to pacifiers and bottle nipples. In these cases, even breastfed babies can develop thrush, which may be linked to maternal factors such as poor breast hygiene or antibiotic use.

Health Clues from the Tongue

A healthy tongue is typically pink with a slightly rough surface due to papillae. Any changes in color, size, texture, or shape could signal an underlying issue. For example:

  • A yellow tongue may suggest infection.

  • A gray-black coating could reflect digestive disorders.

  • A bluish tint might indicate poor oxygen levels or heart conditions.

  • An enlarged (macroglossia) or undersized (microglossia) tongue could point to congenital syndromes, nutritional deficiencies, or inflammatory diseases.

  • Certain conditions like geographic tongue, atrophic glossitis, or hairy tongue further show how tongue health connects to systemic wellness, nutritional status, and even immunity.

Children vs. Adults: Different Tongues, Different Needs

In infants, tongue hygiene can start as early as feeding time—using a damp cloth to clean milk residue. As children grow, introducing tongue scraping around age 3 or 4 can help build lifelong habits. However, many children resist the sensation, and their motor skills may not yet allow for effective cleaning. Making the process fun and rewarding helps, as does school-based education.

For adults, the stakes are different. With age, taste sensitivity may diminish, and poor hygiene may go unnoticed. Lifestyle factors—smoking, diet, medications—can contribute to bacterial buildup and systemic effects. For example, research links poor oral hygiene to cardiovascular risks. Regular tongue cleaning, hydration, and avoiding tobacco use can mitigate such issues.

Small Step, Big Impact

The tongue plays a central role in maintaining a healthy oral environment. A few seconds spent scraping the tongue during routine brushing can prevent several oral and systemic problems. Yet, it remains a neglected part of oral care, especially among children and older adults. Pediatricians, dentists, and caregivers must reinforce its importance from infancy through old age.

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