Are Strict Parents Always the Culprits of Low Self-Esteem?

Are Strict Parents Always the Culprits of Low Self-Esteem?

Updated Oct 17, 2024 | 08:00 AM IST

Is Strict Parenting Hurting Your Child's Self-Esteem? Here's The Truth

SummaryAre strict parents really the cause of low self-esteem? This article is a true-to-life experience, showing how children grow and confidence blossoms at least as much by emotional support, fairness, and balance in the relationship as by rules.

Just imagine having parents who expect nothing less than perfect; everything in your test must score above 90, all actions require confirmation, and anything below their standards gets you a scolding or disappointment. Or on the flip side, imagine having absolutely no rules in place; you're free to make choices without any direction. Would either of these conditions help provide confidence and healthy self-esteem?

I can talk to some of them and relate real-life experiences about childhood and how very strict parents might affect a person's self-esteem.

"I Grew Up Following Rules, but Was I Ever Really Free?"

Sarah (name changed) is a 28-year-old software engineer who shares some childhood experience growing up with strict parents. "My parents were really strict. I had to follow their rules no matter what, and if I didn't, I'd get scolded. My whole life was all about academics. I didn't have many friends because I was too focused on school, and they got angry if my grades were anything less than 90."

Sarah's is one of those classic cases for children raised by high-expectation parents. Where structure and rules are found, the emotional aspect is usually missing which would breed chaos. "I grew up as someone who would ask them to get permission for everything. Whenever school was unbearable or if I was not getting along with other kids, they never comforted me with anything like, 'It's going to be all right.' I felt alone and scared of making my own decisions."

Like Sarah, most children of demanding parents cannot make independent decisions. The fear of mistakes and subsequently the disapprobation can weaken their self-confidence. According to Sarah, "Interviewing others with strict parents, they told me they experienced the same thing growing up feeling like they didn't know how to make decisions or how to interact socially."

Are Strict Parents Always the Culprits of Low Self-Esteem?

The connection between strict parenting and self-esteem is much more complex than it would seem at first glance. While, on one hand, children like Sarah often find themselves struggling with low self-esteem due to obedience and achievement without emotional support, on the other hand, not everyone believes it is strictly the strictness that creates a problem, but rather the character of the rules and the emotional context in which they are enforced.

The case is that of Sebin (name changed), a 33-year-old entrepreneur from Kerala brought up in a house with equally severe parents. While his parents had high expectations, much like Sarah, he did not feel crushed under parental expectations: "My parents were strict but not controlling over every move. They believed in discipline, but also encouraged me to grow on multiple parameters.". It was not just a matter of good grades; they always stretched my capabilities in other types of areas, such as sports and music.

"There were moments where I didn't meet their expectations, and sure, it was tough, but I knew they pushed me because they believed I could meet those goals. That made a huge difference. It didn't crush my confidence; it built it." Kevin reports that the high expectations from his parents were translated as respect by him. As they believed in his ability to do well, this became the basis for higher self-esteem in him.

Importance of Fairness and Balance in Parenting

What makes the experiences of Sarah and Kevin different? The difference lies in the rationality of the rules set by parents. But perhaps it is in the emotional climate fostered by parents. Sebin's parents had rather big expectations but clearly communicated the message that they were all for him. It was a situation where he was allowed to roam about in the different circles of life and experience his mistakes, giving him competence and personal agency, he says.

On the contrary, with choking strictness or arbitrariness-in this case, likened to the rules imposed by Sarah on the child-victims-children get entrapped and bottled up instead of getting guided. Strangely, strictness per se does not suffice in building self-esteem but depends on whether the rules imposed are fair and just. Actually, it is in fact when children feel that support would come to meet expectations that they develop the confidence to succeed for themselves.

Criticism vs. Strictness: A Thin Line

Low self-esteem can also emerge from a critical environment rather than strictness itself. Take, for instance, Jia, a 40-year-old marketing manager who is a mother herself from Hyderabad. "My parents were not only strict; they were overly critical. It was not just about rules; they were negative about everything I did. I loved horses, but my mom would constantly ask, 'Why do you even like horses? ' in an offended voice.

Though they paid for me to take riding lessons, they never once came to watch, nor did they ever try to encourage me."

For Jia, it wasn't the rules per se it was the failure to give emotional support and encouragement. "It was not the discipline that damaged my self-esteem. It was their ceaseless criticism, as if everything I was doing would never be good enough for them."

Although many such tyrannized children grow up successful, this is only possible under such a strict regime of rules and emotional validation. In this respect, Jia's case illustrates that the problem with rules isn't that one must have them; it is the way in which those rules are delivered and the extent to which a child's interests and abilities are validated by their caregivers.

That is the ideal kind of parenting: balance. While rules and expectations will teach discipline, emotional support is necessary to boost a child's confidence, knowing that their parents believe in them able to get things done, even when they fall short. This is the reason two-parent households or involved caregivers can make all the difference-each parent might bring their own strong qualities to the table, creating the perfectly balanced environment.

Strict parenting has no direct relation with low self-esteem. Instead, the degree of imposing limits and offering emotional support creates that confident image for the child. Be your parents strict or lenient, what matters most is whether they showed you they believed in your potential.

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Research Finds What Is The Key To Favoritism Among Parents

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Updated Apr 28, 2025 | 05:00 PM IST

Parents Do Play Favorites - Research Finds What Is The Key To Favoritism Among Parents

Summary‘We love all our kids equally; there is no disparity among the way they are treated’ is a goal many parents hope they achieve with multiple kids. However, studies show that many parents do in fact have favorites. Are there factors that affect this?

While parents often claim they do not have a favorite child, sometimes their favor is evident. Sometimes it is the kid they depend on the most, other times it is the youngest kid of the family. However, is there a specific factor parents enjoy more in their kids? After analyzing factors like age, gender and behavioral pattern, researchers found what parents favored the most in their children

In a 2025 study published by the Psychological Bulletin, researchers found that parents favor daughters. They are more likely to be the favorite, across both mothers and fathers. Firstborn children also often receive more positive attention. Additionally, children who are described as conscientious – meaning they are responsible, organized, and do what they're supposed to – are also frequently favored. These findings suggest that certain personality traits and birth order can influence how parents interact with their children, even if unintentionally.

How Did They Find Parents Favored Certain Kids

Researchers looked at the results of many different studies. They combined the findings from over two dozen research papers, including articles, school projects, and large collections of data. This allowed them to see broader patterns in how parents treat their children differently. By looking at things like how much affection parents show and how they share resources, the researchers could draw more reliable conclusions than if they had just looked at one single study. This big picture approach helps us understand the common trends in parental favoritism.

Why Did The Parents Favor These Traits

Older Siblings

Parents tend to grant older children more freedom and decision-making power, likely due to perceiving them as more mature and responsible based on their age and experience. Having navigated earlier developmental stages, they've often earned more trust, leading parents to offer greater independence compared to their younger siblings who are still learning and growing.

Daughters

Social norms and potential emotional closeness might contribute to daughters being favored. Parents may have different communication styles or expectations, possibly leading to a stronger perceived bond. While conscientiousness and agreeableness play a role overall, a general inclination towards daughters could also stem from subtle societal influences on parental perceptions and interactions.

Conscientious and Agreeable Children

Children who are responsible, organized, cooperative, and kind often experience more positive parental interactions. Their agreeable nature leads to less conflict, creating smoother relationships. These traits can make parenting easier, resulting in more praise, trust, and overall favored treatment compared to siblings who may exhibit more challenging behaviors.

Avoiding Shows Of Favoritism For Kid’s Well-Being

When children feel like they are not the favorite, it can have a real impact on their well-being. It's not just about feeling a little sad; it can affect their mental health, their relationships with others, and even how well they do in school. To make sure all their children feel equally loved and valued, parents can try a few practical things.

It's helpful for parents to regularly think about how they interact with each child. Showing interest in each child's unique hobbies and asking them open-ended questions about what's important to them can make a big difference.

Spending dedicated one-on-one time with each child and avoiding comparisons between them are also key. Encouraging a positive relationship between siblings and openly talking about everyone's needs can create a more supportive and equitable family environment.

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Your Daily Dose Of Sunlight Could Boost Fertility And Ovarian Health After 30

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Updated Apr 27, 2025 | 10:21 AM IST

Your Daily Dose Of Sunlight Could Boost Fertility And Ovarian Health After 30

SummaryFemale fertility naturally declines with age, particularly after 30. Sunlight exposure and adequate vitamin D levels can enhance ovarian health and improve fertility outcomes, especially in women trying to conceive.

Trying to conceive in your 30s can feel like a race against time, but what if the secret to increasing your fertility was as easy as taking a walk outside for some sunlight? Yes, you heard that right! New studies indicate moderate sun exposure to have a crucial role in maintaining ovarian health and fertility, particularly for women past the age of 30. The quest for fertility and reproductive well-being assumes greater importance with advancing age for women, more so after passing the 30s. That biological functions change with age for women is not a secret, and with this comes the dip in fertility as well but what if something as easy as sunlight could improve those chances? Research indicates that moderate sunlight exposure may play a big role in ovarian health and fertility, particularly in women aged over 30.

We've known for years that sunlight improves our mood and mental health. Natural serotonin production while being exposed to sunlight is well-documented, but new studies are now connecting sunlight exposure with better fertility rates, especially among women aged over 30.

A study appearing in Steroids, authored by scientists at Tel Aviv University and the Sheba Medical Center, reveals how solar radiation exposure may impact fertility. The study, in particular, examined how sun exposure influenced the level of Anti-Müllerian Hormone (AMH) in women. AMH is an important marker of ovarian reserve—the amount of eggs a woman possesses in her ovaries, which determines her fertility potential.

The scientists followed 2,235 women aged 20 to 40 and discovered an interesting trend: women aged 30 to 40 who were exposed to moderate amounts of sunlight in spring and autumn had more AMH compared to those exposed to little sunlight in winter months. Surprisingly, those who were exposed to more solar radiation in summer had greater levels of AMH than those in the winter. Although the study does not create a direct cause-and-effect relationship, it does imply that moderate sun exposure can be good for ovarian reserve and therefore fertility.

Role of Vitamin D in Fertility

Vitamin D, or the "sunshine vitamin," is manufactured by our skin after exposure to sunlight. Vitamin D has been found to be very important for fertility, especially for women who are attempting to get pregnant. A deficiency in vitamin D has been linked to unfavorable fertility outcomes, such as lower IVF success rates and an increased risk of pregnancy complications.

For women attempting conception without medical aid, having optimal levels of vitamin D can maximize the possibility of conception. A number of studies establish that women with higher levels of vitamin D are likely to have better rates of implantation of the embryo and better success when undergoing IVF treatment. The relationship between vitamin D and fertility highlights the need to maximize exposure to sunlight or take supplements, especially for those attempting conception.

How Much Sun is Too Much?

While moderate sun exposure will improve fertility by increasing vitamin D levels and AMH levels, it's necessary to counterbalance this with the danger of too much sun. Long-term exposure to strong sunlight can cause sun damage, premature aging, and increased skin cancer risk. So, it's worth striving for safe, moderate sun exposure—usually, about 10 to 30 minutes a few times a week, depending on the type of your skin and sun intensity.

It's essential to pay attention to your body and not expose yourself to the sun during the strongest hours, usually between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. Applying sunscreen to longer exposures and dressing in protective clothing is worth considering to avoid long-term damage to your skin.

Fertility-Enhancing Lifestyle Changes for Women Age 30 and Above

Sunlight exposure is only half the solution when it comes to enhancing fertility among women aged 30 and above. Embracing a healthy lifestyle can also contribute in a notable way to enhancing reproductive health. These are some of the most important lifestyle changes that can enhance fertility:

1. Eat a Balanced Diet

A healthy diet high in antioxidants, healthy fats, and whole foods may also contribute to improving fertility. Foods that are rich in nutrients such as folic acid, zinc, and omega-3 fatty acids play a critical role in maintaining reproductive health. Especially, consuming fruits, vegetables, lean protein, and whole grains can normalize hormones and make conception more likely.

2. Exercise Regularly, But Don't Overdo It

Physical exercise is essential for general health and fertility. Regular, moderate exercise—like walking, swimming, or yoga—can help normalize hormones, enhance blood flow, and alleviate stress. Excessive exercise, on the other hand, can have the opposite effect and harm fertility. Women who overexert themselves or have extremely low body weight can suffer from menstrual irregularities, which can prevent ovulation.

3. Stress Management

Chronic stress is a proven fertility killer, as it can cause hormonal imbalance and affect ovulation. Adding stress-reduction methods like yoga, meditation, or breathing exercises can help balance your body. Also, talking to a counselor or therapist can be helpful in resolving emotional and psychological stress that could be impacting your fertility.

4. Get Enough Sleep

Sleep is necessary for hormone balance and overall health. Lack of sleep can raise cortisol levels and interfere with your reproductive hormones. Get 7 to 9 hours of quality sleep each night to aid your fertility and overall health.

Although no one factor can promise fertility, sunlight exposure may be a natural and inexpensive means of aiding reproductive health. Along with a healthy diet, exercise on a regular basis, and stress management techniques, you can really boost your chances of conception, particularly if you're in your 30s. Fertility is a multifaceted process, and it's always a good idea to consult with a healthcare provider when changing your lifestyle or embarking on a family planning adventure.

Moderate sunlight exposure not only does your mood and mental health good but also has an unsuspected but possibly vital role to play in enhancing ovarian health and fertility beyond the age of 30.

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US Fertility Rate Remains Below Levels Needed To Sustain Population Growth

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Updated Apr 25, 2025 | 10:00 AM IST

US Fertility Rate Remains Below Levels Needed To Sustain Population Growth

SummaryU.S. birth rates remain low despite a slight rise in 2024, raising concerns about long-term population decline, economic impact, and future caregiving challenges.

The US is facing a long-term decline in the birth rates. As per experts, this raises a concern in terms of what this means for country's future, especially with regard to health of its population, economy, and caregiving systems.

A Slight Rise in 2024

As per the new data released by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), more than 3.6 million babies were born in 2024. This is just a 1% increase from the previous year, which had been the lowest record in births. While this uptick may seem encouraging, it is not enough to reverse the troubling trend.

The US fertility rate remains around 1.6 births per woman. This is significantly below the 2.1 births that is required to sustain the population growth without immigration.

As per the demographers, this continuous drop began during the Great Recession in 2007. It has continued steadily since.

Shift In Teen Births

One of the biggest shifts is the steep decline in teen births. In 1991, about 62 of every 1,000 teenage girl had a child. This number has now fell to just under 13 by 2024. This is a historic low that reflects a positive shift, better education, access to contraception, and changing attitudes about early parenthood.

Similar trend is seen among women in their 20s, as the rates their too have dropped. In 2007, about 106 of every 1,000 women aged 20 to 24 gave birth. By 2024, the number has dropped to around 57. For women aged 25 to 29, the rate fell from 118 in every 1,000 women in 2007, to 91 in 2024.

Though there has been a slight rise in births among women in their 30s, experts say that it is not enough to offset the overall decline.

Are Births Being Delayed?

“One of the big questions is all these births that haven’t occurred—are they just being delayed?” asked Ken Johnson, a demographer at the University of New Hampshire. “Or are a lot of these births going to be forgone entirely?”

The answer has significant public health implications. A shrinking younger population could lead to fewer caregivers for an aging society, higher burdens on healthcare systems, and a smaller workforce contributing to national health programs like Medicare.

Why Are Fewer Americans Having Kids?

As per experts, while people still want children, there is a lingering financial burden and social barriers too that get in a way. High student loans, debt, and the rising coast of child care, unstable housing, along with limited access to paid parental leave are all major concerns.

“People don’t have kids when they don’t feel good about their own futures,” said Karen Benjamin Guzzo, a family demographer at the University of North Carolina.

Can Policies Help?

Some political leaders are proposing measures to encourage parenthood. Former President Trump, for instance, has suggested “baby bonuses” and scholarships for married couples or parents. However, Johnson believes that without stronger, systemic support, the U.S. birth rate is unlikely to bounce back to replacement level.

Immigration may help slow the effects of falling birth rates. Many immigrants move to the U.S. with plans to start families, Johnson noted. “They bring the potential for babies in the future.”

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