Just imagine having parents who expect nothing less than perfect; everything in your test must score above 90, all actions require confirmation, and anything below their standards gets you a scolding or disappointment. Or on the flip side, imagine having absolutely no rules in place; you're free to make choices without any direction. Would either of these conditions help provide confidence and healthy self-esteem?

I can talk to some of them and relate real-life experiences about childhood and how very strict parents might affect a person's self-esteem.

"I Grew Up Following Rules, but Was I Ever Really Free?"

Sarah (name changed) is a 28-year-old software engineer who shares some childhood experience growing up with strict parents. "My parents were really strict. I had to follow their rules no matter what, and if I didn't, I'd get scolded. My whole life was all about academics. I didn't have many friends because I was too focused on school, and they got angry if my grades were anything less than 90."

Sarah's is one of those classic cases for children raised by high-expectation parents. Where structure and rules are found, the emotional aspect is usually missing which would breed chaos. "I grew up as someone who would ask them to get permission for everything. Whenever school was unbearable or if I was not getting along with other kids, they never comforted me with anything like, 'It's going to be all right.' I felt alone and scared of making my own decisions."

Like Sarah, most children of demanding parents cannot make independent decisions. The fear of mistakes and subsequently the disapprobation can weaken their self-confidence. According to Sarah, "Interviewing others with strict parents, they told me they experienced the same thing growing up feeling like they didn't know how to make decisions or how to interact socially."

Are Strict Parents Always the Culprits of Low Self-Esteem?

The connection between strict parenting and self-esteem is much more complex than it would seem at first glance. While, on one hand, children like Sarah often find themselves struggling with low self-esteem due to obedience and achievement without emotional support, on the other hand, not everyone believes it is strictly the strictness that creates a problem, but rather the character of the rules and the emotional context in which they are enforced.

The case is that of Sebin (name changed), a 33-year-old entrepreneur from Kerala brought up in a house with equally severe parents. While his parents had high expectations, much like Sarah, he did not feel crushed under parental expectations: "My parents were strict but not controlling over every move. They believed in discipline, but also encouraged me to grow on multiple parameters.". It was not just a matter of good grades; they always stretched my capabilities in other types of areas, such as sports and music.

"There were moments where I didn't meet their expectations, and sure, it was tough, but I knew they pushed me because they believed I could meet those goals. That made a huge difference. It didn't crush my confidence; it built it." Kevin reports that the high expectations from his parents were translated as respect by him. As they believed in his ability to do well, this became the basis for higher self-esteem in him.

Importance of Fairness and Balance in Parenting

What makes the experiences of Sarah and Kevin different? The difference lies in the rationality of the rules set by parents. But perhaps it is in the emotional climate fostered by parents. Sebin's parents had rather big expectations but clearly communicated the message that they were all for him. It was a situation where he was allowed to roam about in the different circles of life and experience his mistakes, giving him competence and personal agency, he says.

On the contrary, with choking strictness or arbitrariness-in this case, likened to the rules imposed by Sarah on the child-victims-children get entrapped and bottled up instead of getting guided. Strangely, strictness per se does not suffice in building self-esteem but depends on whether the rules imposed are fair and just. Actually, it is in fact when children feel that support would come to meet expectations that they develop the confidence to succeed for themselves.

Criticism vs. Strictness: A Thin Line

Low self-esteem can also emerge from a critical environment rather than strictness itself. Take, for instance, Jia, a 40-year-old marketing manager who is a mother herself from Hyderabad. "My parents were not only strict; they were overly critical. It was not just about rules; they were negative about everything I did. I loved horses, but my mom would constantly ask, 'Why do you even like horses? ' in an offended voice.

Though they paid for me to take riding lessons, they never once came to watch, nor did they ever try to encourage me."

For Jia, it wasn't the rules per se it was the failure to give emotional support and encouragement. "It was not the discipline that damaged my self-esteem. It was their ceaseless criticism, as if everything I was doing would never be good enough for them."

Although many such tyrannized children grow up successful, this is only possible under such a strict regime of rules and emotional validation. In this respect, Jia's case illustrates that the problem with rules isn't that one must have them; it is the way in which those rules are delivered and the extent to which a child's interests and abilities are validated by their caregivers.

That is the ideal kind of parenting: balance. While rules and expectations will teach discipline, emotional support is necessary to boost a child's confidence, knowing that their parents believe in them able to get things done, even when they fall short. This is the reason two-parent households or involved caregivers can make all the difference-each parent might bring their own strong qualities to the table, creating the perfectly balanced environment.

Strict parenting has no direct relation with low self-esteem. Instead, the degree of imposing limits and offering emotional support creates that confident image for the child. Be your parents strict or lenient, what matters most is whether they showed you they believed in your potential.

Katrina Kaif and Vicky Kaushal are set to welcome their first child. They have shared a photo where Katrina is flaunting her baby bump on her Instagram.

She is 42 and her choice also mirrors a growing trend among urban Indian women who are embracing motherhood later in life, often after focusing on education, careers, and financial independence. In fact, late pregnancies have become increasingly common in recent years. Deepika Padukone, for example, welcomed her daughter on September 8, 2024, at the age of 38, joining a growing number of public figures who are redefining the timeline of motherhood.

Late Pregnancy: How Healthy Is It?

The National Institute of Health (NIH), US (2022), 20% of women in the US are now having their first child after the age of 35. While it is the new trend, the NIH doctor Dr Alan Decherney, a fertility expert explains that "As women age, they are still fertile, but their odds of pregnancy are decreased because they are not making as many good eggs that will fertile and divide normally and turn out to be an embryo."

ALSO READ: Women Are Now Waiting More Before Becoming A Mother, Age Trend Shows Motherhood From 2016 to 2023

Is Getting Pregnant More Difficult After 30?

After age 30, a woman's fertility decreases ever year, notes the NIH July 2022 issue. It notes: "The number and quality of her eggs goes down until she reaches menopause."

However, experts do point out that getting pregnant in your 30s need not be a stressful affair at all times. As it is at this age when you experience more stability, and also someone you know who have a personal experience in handling one. Most important, you are more mature at this age, which you may not be in your 20s.

Are You Planning Your Pregnancy After 30s? Here's How To Do It Right

Quit Habits: If you are a smoker, or consume alcohol, this is a good time to leave it.

Reduce Stress: While pregnancy for some can bring stress, try to find activities that help you release it.

Healthy Weight: Ensure that your weight is right, reduce your waist to bring it to a healthy range for a healthy pregnancy.

Food Habits: Stop eating junk and start eating more whole grains.

Exercise: A sedentary lifestyle can impact negatively on the child. You do not have to do HIIT, however, regular easy workouts can make both the pregnancy and delivery easy.

What Women In Their 30s Should Be Ready For During Pregnancy?

Dr Michelle Y Owens, professor of obstetrics and gynecology and a practicing maternal-fetal medicine specialist at the University of Mississippi Medical Center in Jackson, writes for the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) that "the longer your eggs have been around, the more likely they are to produce a pregnancy with a chromosome problem that can lead to a condition like Down syndrome. The risk goes up significantly after 35."

However, she says, there is a good news. Now, we have tools to detect and respond to pregnancy complications early.

"Don't take Tylenol if you're pregnant, and don't give Tylenol to your child," said President Donald Trump in a White House briefing as a result of which many Americans would pull out acetaminophen from their medicine cabinet. While science does not back the claim of acetaminophen causing childhood autism if pregnant mothers consume it, however, the Trump administration has blamed it to cause the rise in autism cases in the recent years.

In such a case, what must the parents do? Who can they rely on?

Helen Tager-Flusberg, director of Boston University's Center for Autism Research Excellence told NPR, "Are thy [parents] going to listen to people who are not physicians, who have no expertise in autism, or are they going to turn to their medical providers, their treatment providers and ask them what their view of the current science is? That's what they should be doing."

However, the truth of the matter is that parents are in fact worried and are wondering what decision must they take. Brian Lee of Drexel University, and one of the authors of the studies on acetaminophen told NPR in an interview rightly points out that while it is important to rely on science, "Who has time to sit there and go through the dozens or hundreds of scientific articles on any given topic?"

So, what is the solution? Lee says, it is to trust medical experts. "We trust our experts. And if our experts are telling us one thing, but other experts are saying another thing, it causes confusion."

Read: Trump's Claim On Linking Tylenol And Autism Is Unscientific, According To Doctors

Nicole Baldwin, MD, a pediatrician from Cincinnati, Ohio, told NPR that any association that's been seen between autism and acetaminophen in studies doesn't necessarily mean there's a causal relationship. The comparison Baldwin provides is of the shark attacks in the summer and eating ice cream in the same season. "But that doesn't mean that one causes the other," she says.

"These studies that have been out show correlation, but don't actually show causation," says Baldwin." "And I think that's an important thing for parents to realize — that the science is not known just yet, despite what has been said."

Why Is President's Announcement On Tylenol Worrying?

While many might argue that one can just avoid Tylenol altogether in pregnancy and "tough it out" like Trump suggested, however, experts in maternal-fetal medicine say that untreated fever is known to be dangerous in pregnancy, and pain is also a problem. So, Trump's repeated comment that there was "no downside" to not taking acetaminophen does not necessarily stand correct.

The Society for Maternal-Fetal Medicine pointed out that "untreated fever, particularly in the first trimester, increases the risk of miscarriage, birth defects, and premature birth."

In fact, Baldwin noted that when she was pregnant with her daughter, she had ab mild injury. "And if I hadn't had Tylenol to take, I can't imagine the suffering I would have had for two months," she says.

The problem is that there are no other medications that pregnant women can take, this is because other pain and fever reducing drugs have been proven unsafe in pregnancy. For instance, another popular drug, ibuprofen, has been linked to kidney problems in fetuses.

While recent research has shown that children with obesity rates have been rising, a new report showed exactly how fast and high the rates have become within the span of a few years.

September is National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month, and new data from the Indiana Youth Institute (IYI) and Jump IN for Healthy Kids shows a troubling trend. The report highlights that one in five children in Indiana, aged 2 to 19, are living with obesity.

This is a significant problem with wide-ranging consequences. The most alarming finding is a dramatic 83% increase in obesity among children ages 2 to 5 between 2014 and 2023, with much of this rise happening during the pandemic.

Childhood obesity has been linked with numerous health problems, whether it is decrease in the quality of life or even premature death according to HPI (Health Policy institute). It has also been named as a risk factor of the 4 leading causes of death in the US, which are coronary heart disease, type-2 diabetes, stroke and cancer.

How Is Obesity Affecting Children

One Childhood obesity isn't just a matter of weight. It deeply impacts a child's overall well-being.

Physical Health

Kids with obesity are at a much higher risk of developing serious medical conditions. This includes type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and orthopedic issues caused by the extra weight on their growing bones and joints. These problems can follow them into adulthood, leading to chronic diseases.

Emotional and Social Well-being

The struggle with obesity can also affect a child's mental state. They may experience low self-esteem and anxiety, which can cause them to feel insecure and withdraw from social activities. This may lead to them skipping school or avoiding extracurricular activities they might otherwise enjoy.

Economic Impact

There are also significant financial costs. A child with obesity is estimated to have $19,000 more in lifetime medical costs than a child who is at a healthy weight. This places a financial burden on families and the healthcare system.

What's Causing This and What Can We Do?

Several factors contribute to childhood obesity, including genetics, access to healthy food, opportunities for physical activity, and neighborhood safety. HPI explains that obesity is linked with physical inactivity. Two factors that caused it were over-reliance on electronics for entertainment and decreased participation in physical education programs in school

Economic challenges can also push families toward less expensive, highly processed foods instead of fresh, nutritious options. This makes it harder for them to maintain a healthy diet, even when they know it's important. The good news is that solutions are within reach. It's a complex problem that requires a combined effort from everyone.

• Families can start by setting good examples. This means eating nutritious meals together and limiting the amount of time spent in front of screens.

• Schools can help by making sure children get daily physical activity and have access to healthy meal options during the school day.

• Policymakers and community groups can work on a larger scale by improving access to affordable, healthy food and creating safe places for kids to play and be active.

The key is to work together without blame or shame. As Tami Silverman of the IYI says, it’s about taking practical steps as a community to create lasting change for our kids.