Just imagine having parents who expect nothing less than perfect; everything in your test must score above 90, all actions require confirmation, and anything below their standards gets you a scolding or disappointment. Or on the flip side, imagine having absolutely no rules in place; you're free to make choices without any direction. Would either of these conditions help provide confidence and healthy self-esteem?

I can talk to some of them and relate real-life experiences about childhood and how very strict parents might affect a person's self-esteem.

"I Grew Up Following Rules, but Was I Ever Really Free?"

Sarah (name changed) is a 28-year-old software engineer who shares some childhood experience growing up with strict parents. "My parents were really strict. I had to follow their rules no matter what, and if I didn't, I'd get scolded. My whole life was all about academics. I didn't have many friends because I was too focused on school, and they got angry if my grades were anything less than 90."

Sarah's is one of those classic cases for children raised by high-expectation parents. Where structure and rules are found, the emotional aspect is usually missing which would breed chaos. "I grew up as someone who would ask them to get permission for everything. Whenever school was unbearable or if I was not getting along with other kids, they never comforted me with anything like, 'It's going to be all right.' I felt alone and scared of making my own decisions."

Like Sarah, most children of demanding parents cannot make independent decisions. The fear of mistakes and subsequently the disapprobation can weaken their self-confidence. According to Sarah, "Interviewing others with strict parents, they told me they experienced the same thing growing up feeling like they didn't know how to make decisions or how to interact socially."

Are Strict Parents Always the Culprits of Low Self-Esteem?

The connection between strict parenting and self-esteem is much more complex than it would seem at first glance. While, on one hand, children like Sarah often find themselves struggling with low self-esteem due to obedience and achievement without emotional support, on the other hand, not everyone believes it is strictly the strictness that creates a problem, but rather the character of the rules and the emotional context in which they are enforced.

The case is that of Sebin (name changed), a 33-year-old entrepreneur from Kerala brought up in a house with equally severe parents. While his parents had high expectations, much like Sarah, he did not feel crushed under parental expectations: "My parents were strict but not controlling over every move. They believed in discipline, but also encouraged me to grow on multiple parameters.". It was not just a matter of good grades; they always stretched my capabilities in other types of areas, such as sports and music.

"There were moments where I didn't meet their expectations, and sure, it was tough, but I knew they pushed me because they believed I could meet those goals. That made a huge difference. It didn't crush my confidence; it built it." Kevin reports that the high expectations from his parents were translated as respect by him. As they believed in his ability to do well, this became the basis for higher self-esteem in him.

Importance of Fairness and Balance in Parenting

What makes the experiences of Sarah and Kevin different? The difference lies in the rationality of the rules set by parents. But perhaps it is in the emotional climate fostered by parents. Sebin's parents had rather big expectations but clearly communicated the message that they were all for him. It was a situation where he was allowed to roam about in the different circles of life and experience his mistakes, giving him competence and personal agency, he says.

On the contrary, with choking strictness or arbitrariness-in this case, likened to the rules imposed by Sarah on the child-victims-children get entrapped and bottled up instead of getting guided. Strangely, strictness per se does not suffice in building self-esteem but depends on whether the rules imposed are fair and just. Actually, it is in fact when children feel that support would come to meet expectations that they develop the confidence to succeed for themselves.

Criticism vs. Strictness: A Thin Line

Low self-esteem can also emerge from a critical environment rather than strictness itself. Take, for instance, Jia, a 40-year-old marketing manager who is a mother herself from Hyderabad. "My parents were not only strict; they were overly critical. It was not just about rules; they were negative about everything I did. I loved horses, but my mom would constantly ask, 'Why do you even like horses? ' in an offended voice.

Though they paid for me to take riding lessons, they never once came to watch, nor did they ever try to encourage me."

For Jia, it wasn't the rules per se it was the failure to give emotional support and encouragement. "It was not the discipline that damaged my self-esteem. It was their ceaseless criticism, as if everything I was doing would never be good enough for them."

Although many such tyrannized children grow up successful, this is only possible under such a strict regime of rules and emotional validation. In this respect, Jia's case illustrates that the problem with rules isn't that one must have them; it is the way in which those rules are delivered and the extent to which a child's interests and abilities are validated by their caregivers.

That is the ideal kind of parenting: balance. While rules and expectations will teach discipline, emotional support is necessary to boost a child's confidence, knowing that their parents believe in them able to get things done, even when they fall short. This is the reason two-parent households or involved caregivers can make all the difference-each parent might bring their own strong qualities to the table, creating the perfectly balanced environment.

Strict parenting has no direct relation with low self-esteem. Instead, the degree of imposing limits and offering emotional support creates that confident image for the child. Be your parents strict or lenient, what matters most is whether they showed you they believed in your potential.

Before stepping into parenthood, people often hear the familiar warnings: sleepless nights, endless responsibilities, and constant busyness. What few mention is another reality, it is the risk of injury.

Many parents have stories of physical strain, from tweaking a back while lifting a toddler to rushing across the room at night and tripping, or developing wrist pain from scrubbing bottles and pump parts. These injuries can start small but often persist for years, especially when parents overlook their own recovery while prioritizing their children’s needs.

Why New Parents Are Vulnerable

New mothers are particularly at risk due to the physical toll of pregnancy and the extra caregiving responsibilities, including breastfeeding. Coupled with lack of rest, these factors create the perfect storm for long-term issues. Experts stress that parents should seek early treatment for injuries and, ideally, prepare their bodies for parenthood with core-strengthening exercises before the baby arrives. Some compare parenting to a sport, one that demands training.

The lack of public awareness may be partly due to the absence of data. While medical billing codes exist for unusual injuries such as being struck by an animal, there is no formal category for being injured while caring for a child. As a result, the scale of the issue is difficult to measure.

From Workout to Wear and Tear

On paper, parenting could be considered a gradual fitness programme. A newborn’s weight increases steadily over the years, and play evolves from pushing a stroller to chasing a running child. But in reality, children often treat their parents as climbing frames, yanking arms or jumping on backs, leading to muscle strains and joint issues.

Physical therapists note that back, neck, shoulder, and wrist injuries are among the most common for parents. The rise in average age for first-time parents also plays a role. Older parents may face more aches and slower recovery times, similar to how an older athlete’s body responds differently to strain.

Conditions like diastasis recti, where abdominal muscles separate during pregnancy, can lead to lasting issues, including back pain, difficulty lifting, and even incontinence. Without targeted recovery, such conditions can limit a parent’s ability to care for both their child and themselves.

Changing Lifestyles, Increased Risk

Today’s parents spend significantly more time with their children compared with previous generations, reports The Washington Post. This, combined with demanding jobs, reduced community support, and a tendency to multitask while exhausted, increases the likelihood of accidents and injuries.

Stories from parents range from predictable strains to bizarre mishaps. One parent recalled dislocating a toe during a playful indoor game, which led to surgery, complications, and months of recovery. These accidents highlight how even harmless activities can result in long-term physical challenges.

Prevention and Recovery Tips

While injuries may be part of the parenting journey, there are ways to minimize the risk:

Strengthen your core: Engage in exercises like yoga, Pilates, swimming, or weight training to support the back, shoulders, and neck.

Maintain proper form: Learn safe lifting techniques for picking up children, car seats, and other heavy items.

Avoid unnecessary bending: Sit when strapping a child into a stroller instead of bending from the waist.

Travel light: Carry only essentials to reduce strain.

Slow down: Rushing often leads to missteps. Make multiple trips if needed.

Clear walkways: Removing toys and clutter reduces the chance of tripping, especially during night-time emergencies.

Adapt workouts: Short, frequent exercise sessions can replace long gym visits.

Stay active: Regular movement now will make it easier to keep up with children later.

Seek help early: Ignoring pain often worsens the injury, making recovery longer and more difficult.

There’s a reason your inner critic sounds suspiciously like your mum or dad. A new study, published in BMJ Open, has found that parents who ridicule, threaten, or humiliate their kids may be doing long-term damage not just bruising their egos but their entire mental wellbeing. According to the research, such harsh parenting increases the odds of poor adult mental health by a staggering 64 per cent. That throwaway “You’ll never amount to anything!” may echo louder in someone’s head than an actual slap.

Sticks, Stones… and Sharp Words

The participants were asked to assess their mental wellbeing over a two-week period. Scores placed them in either the high or low mental wellbeing category.

The results were eye-opening. “Our study reveals that degrading, humiliating and abusive language directed at children can have long-term mental health impacts at least as severe as those associated with physical abuse,” said Prof Bellis.

A Slap vs a Sharp Tongue

The numbers speak for themselves. What’s even more troubling is that while physical abuse among participants fell over time, verbal abuse has been on the rise. Those born before 1950 reported a 12 per cent prevalence of verbal abuse. That number jumped to 20 per cent among those born in or after 2000.

“Equally concerning is the trend observed over the study period where physical abuse declined but verbal abuse increased … potentially offsetting the mental health gains we might expect from reduced exposure to physical harm,” Bellis said.

In other words, just because fewer kids are getting slapped doesn’t mean they’re better off. Words, especially when used as weapons, can leave wounds that take far longer to heal.

Why It Matters Now More Than Ever

The study also found a general dip in mental wellbeing among younger generations. Those born in or after 2000 reported higher rates of poor mental health overall. So even with greater awareness about mental health, something’s going very wrong.

The researchers didn’t dig into the exact reasons for these changing abuse trends or the individual severity of abuse cases, but they made one thing clear: “Although this study does not examine the reasons for these trends, it is vital that we do not simply replace one form of childhood trauma with another,” said Bellis.

What Parents Need Besides Just ‘Don’t Do That’

Telling parents not to hit or yell at their kids isn’t enough. According to the study authors, what’s needed is practical, accessible guidance on how to build nurturing relationships. Because no parent wakes up thinking, “How can I mess my kid up today?” But when there is stress, generational trauma, or lack of support, well-meaning discipline can veer into damaging territory.

“That’s why we must go beyond telling parents what not to do and instead offer clear, practical support and guidance that allows them to raise their children through healthy, nurturing relationships,” Bellis said.

Mental health doesn’t just show up one day in adulthood. It’s shaped, layered, and often haunted by childhood experiences, especially the unkind words and undermining comments that seem small at the time but settle deep into the psyche. So if you're still dealing with anxiety or low self-worth in your thirties, it might not be ‘just you’. It could be the voice of harsh parenting, still living rent-free in your head.

For new parents, a baby’s cry can feel like an unsolvable riddle. Is it hunger, fatigue, discomfort, or something more complex?

While the sound of a crying baby can stir panic and helplessness, researchers say that it’s actually the first language a newborn uses to communicate. Learning to interpret these cries can build trust, reduce frustration, and strengthen the parent-child bond.

The Language of Cries

According to research by Priscilla Dunstan, babies across the world, regardless of culture or language, produce nine distinct sounds in their cries, each indicating a specific need. These are not random wails but physiological reflexes.

For example, when a baby is hungry, the tongue touches the roof of the mouth, creating a “Nèh” sound. Identifying these subtle cues early can prevent discomfort from escalating into distress.

The Nine Cries and What They Mean

Nèh – “I’m hungry”

This sound mimics a sucking motion. It’s usually the first cry parents hear, especially in the early weeks when feeding is frequent.

Èh – “I need to burp”

A short, jerky sound created when air is trapped. If you hear this after feeding, hold the baby upright and pat gently on the back.

Aoh – “I’m sleepy”

This cry often comes with yawns and a wide-open mouth. It signals that your baby needs rest soon.

Éérh – “I have a stomach ache”

Hoarse, prolonged, and strained, this cry is linked to gas or colic. Gentle massage or movement may help soothe your baby.

Héh – “I’m uncomfortable”

A soft 'h' sound may point to issues like a dirty diaper, awkward position, or rash. A quick check can resolve it.

Guèn – “I’m teething”

Often accompanied by drooling and gum rubbing, this sound means your baby may need a teething ring or gentle gum massage.

Lelaol – “I need company”

A softer, almost meowing sound—your baby simply wants interaction. Responding to this helps foster emotional security.

Nah – “I’m thirsty”

A gentler version of the hunger cry, often heard in warmer weather or when breastfeeding intervals increase.

Ouin – “Everything feels wrong”

A full-body cry when a baby is overwhelmed. Cuddling, rocking, or just holding them can bring comfort.

Beyond Sounds: Emotions And Connection

While deciphering these cues helps meet basic needs, it also supports a baby’s emotional growth. Babies experience emotions intensely, and crying is their only outlet. Your calm presence helps regulate their emotional storms, almost like serving as their temporary “prefrontal cortex”, the part of the brain responsible for emotional regulation, which develops later.

Should You Always Respond?

Some parents wonder if responding to every cry will spoil the baby. Experts say that in the early months, every cry deserves attention. It isn’t about temperament, it’s communication. As the baby matures, short self-soothing intervals can be introduced. Still, your consistent presence helps develop secure attachment and emotional resilience.