Every year, July 25 is celebrated as IVF Day, marking the birth of the world’s first IVF baby, Louise Brown, in 1978. More than four decades later, IVF is no longer just a medical breakthrough—it’s a deeply emotional journey that thousands of couples undertake in the hope of starting a family. But as Dr. Firuza Parikh, Director at Jaslok-FeetilTree International Fertility Centre, reminds us, IVF is “not just science—it’s intensely human.”When IVF Doesn’t End in a CradleDespite being a beacon of hope, IVF doesn’t always result in a child. “There’s a kind of heartbreaking silence that follows a failed IVF cycle,” Dr. Parikh shares. “The couple walks in full of cautious optimism, but sometimes they leave facing a reality they weren’t prepared for.”She adds that a failed cycle can feel like grief. “I’ve had women sit across from me feeling betrayed by their own bodies, wondering if they didn’t try hard enough. To them, I always say: ‘This is not your fault.’”More Than Just the Woman's JourneyWhile women often bear the brunt of IVF physically and emotionally, Dr. Parikh insists we look at the whole picture. “The embryo is not just hers—it’s theirs. Men need to be involved too. We evaluate sperm quality, suggest lifestyle changes, and support them emotionally as well.”She emphasizes male fertility is just as important: “Age, stress, smoking, and even heat exposure can affect sperm quality.”Pausing Is Not Giving UpIVF cycles can be taxing—not just on the body but the spirit. “Sometimes, it’s the soul that says ‘I’m tired’ even when the body soldiers on,” says Dr. Parikh. “In those moments, I gently ask: Do you want to pause? Not stop—just pause and breathe.”She adds that readiness for IVF goes beyond hormone levels or test results. “Is she sleeping well? Is she emotionally steady? IVF is not a race. It helps to slow down and give the body and mind a moment to catch up.”The Embryos Left BehindOne of the most delicate parts of IVF is deciding what to do with unused embryos. “Sometimes they’re frozen, sometimes they remain untouched after a successful cycle,” says Dr. Parikh. “Years later, women call and ask what to do. Letting go of these embryos is like saying goodbye to a version of the future that could have been.”She adds, “Those embryos are not just cells—they’re possibilities.”Motherhood Isn’t the Only Definition of WomanhoodNot every woman who chooses IVF becomes a mother, and that’s okay. “IVF isn’t a test of womanhood,” Dr. Parikh insists. “Sometimes success is a baby, sometimes it’s the courage to try, and sometimes, it’s the grace to walk away.”Every woman who undergoes IVF deserves to be honored—regardless of the outcome—for her strength, her vulnerability, and her resilience.Healing Through MindfulnessAfter an emotionally exhausting cycle, Dr. Parikh gently introduces the idea of mindfulness. “It’s not about fixing. It’s about feeling,” she says. “It creates a small, sacred space where healing quietly begins.”As we mark IVF Day, Dr. Parikh’s words serve as a powerful reminder: “You are not defined by what didn’t happen. You are never without hope. Because sometimes, what lies beyond the embryo… is you.”
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