"I still remember that first time when my parents took me aside for what would turn out to be one of the most memorable conversations of my life. And so, I had only just finished my first gig as a drummer for a local band; although my parents weren't particularly keen on my choice of hobbies, they attended, cheered, and clapped. In my case, after the show, I was beaming with excitement, but my parents, without diminishing my enthusiasm, asked me what I had learned from the experience. That moment for me was a moment of crystallization, wherein I realized that my parents were not only supporting me but also helping me grow and introspect, eventually owning all the choices I made," narratives Raghav, now a sports psychologist in Bengaluru.It has been very appealing in such a world with loads of parenting advice and parenting manuals to peruse often on what makes good parents perfect. It's about being perfect; it's not. It's about setting up a place where your child can flourish, where mistakes are an inherent part of the path you take, and love can be felt even through disagreements. As we all explore our own experiences and those of others who had "good parents," there are some common threads that truly stand out — lessons that new parents can carry with them as they chart their own parenting journey.Support Without UnderstandingOne important thing I learned from my parents is that you can never really understand the passion of your child in order to really support it. Not that my parents were not interested in skateboarding at all; however, they were willing enough to spend hours driving my brother to skateparks and continually buying new gear. They did not impose their dreams on us but allowed us to discover our own paths, even when that seemed out of step with theirs. Similarly, though they did not reveal to me their love for drumming, they made quite an effort to enable me to pursue my dream. This freedom to explore taught me such an important life lesson : I am responsible for my own happiness. My parents were willing to support what they did not fully understand, giving me that courage to be passionate about things without fearing judgment. New parents should remember that they don't have to micromanage everything their child might be interested in; it's all about giving them the space to find joy on their own terms and not to make them do something they are not deeply passionate about.Power of Not ShelteringThe majority of parents have the instinct to protect their children from the pain or disappointment they will cause by being hurt or let down. My parents were entirely different. I was never sheltered nor protected from the harshest realities of life. My parents encouraged me to lose at sports, rejection, and to experience the diversity of society in all its implications-whether that was through having interactions with people from a different socioeconomic class or watching loved ones undergo difficult situations.Instead of sheltering me from every knock and bump that came my way, they let me hit bottom and provided a pillow for me to fall on when the going got tough.This should expose children to reality while at the same time providing support to help develop resilience. First-time parents will often find themselves wanting to protect their child from the upheavals of life, but, as it turns out, resilience is actually forged in the fire of trial. The children must be exposed to the capability to move through difficulties with support, not separation from the ease of life.Leading by ExampleMy parents never asked me to do anything that they had not done themselves. If they taught us how to budget, then they themselves were under tight financial discipline. If they wanted us to treat people with kindness and respect, then they embodied those values in their dealings with others. They lived by the lessons that they would teach, so I found it easy to emulate them.Indeed, one of the most powerful tools a parent has is leadership by example. Children are such observers, and they learn much more from what you do than from what you say. Want your children to live with integrity, discipline, and compassion? First, you must model those traits.Breaking the Cycle of TraumaThe most important lesson I learned from my parents is breaking the cycle of trauma.Both my parents are products of hard childhoods. While I was brought up by strangers much of his childhood, my father was abandoned. My mother suffered abuse from her own step-mother. They carried many scars, but they chose to give me and my siblings a life free from such pains. Not perfect, to be sure-no parent ever is-but they made a conscious effort to build a loving, stable family environment. That this struggle means you are liberating yourself from your past and giving your children an opportunity for better life generally reminds us of something so important: no matter how one grows up, they can always choose to be different in parenting. This is a good reminder for new parents- your past doesn't determine how you raise your children. You can create a nourishing home filled with love, even in the midst of serious struggles. Respect and FairnessOne thing I was extremely thankful for while growing up was how my parents showed me and my siblings that they were fair. No one was a favorite, nor was anybody treated differently for some unknown agenda for others. Nothing was administered without some form of explanation, and decisions were always opened for discussion. It was never, "because I said so.".This approach to parenting tended to build a relationship on mutual respect and trust. I never had the rebellion phase, not so much because I didn't want to be the rebel but I always felt heard. This is a very important lesson that new parents must know: respect breeds respect. By treating your child as a thinking human being who can engage in conversation, you help him grow into a responsible adult.Parenting is a journey - well, my gosh; it's something that has been through loads of moments of doubt, learning, and growth. My parents aren't perfect, but they got a lot right: provided me with the space to focus on those things that interest me, allowed me to go through the ups and downs in life, modeled behavior for me to follow, and most importantly, they broke the cycle of trauma to give my siblings and me a better life.So, you're not trying to be perfect; you're trying to love them, support them, and grow with them. Parenting is that process of providing a space where your children feel empowered to make their choices and supported in their pursuit, with values that you live each day. Parenting is not just protecting children from the world, but building resilience for life.