Dear future husband, before we build a life together, there's something you must know—not only about me but also about the unseen weight that women bear daily. It's not simply about being exhausted. It's not simply about occasional pain. It's about the constant juggling of responsibilities that exhausts me mentally as well as physically.Picture this: My day begins early, before sunrise, planning meals, answering emails or texts in my head before even opening my laptop, remembering birthdays, grocery shopping lists, doctor visits, and other deadlines which are not just mine but for my ageing parents too- all while dealing with period cramps that make me want to curl up in bed. When I finally sit down at night, my brain is still racing, calculating through tomorrow's to-do list. This is my life.It's called the mental load—the constant, invisible work of keeping life in motion. It's the emotional burden of caring, planning, and predicting needs that go unseen. And when you throw stress, fatigue, and menstrual pain into the mix, the weight is too much to bear.So, before we walk into forever, I want you to see this, to really get it. Because love isn't about sweeping gestures—it's about being present, acknowledging my demons, and bearing the burden of life with me.This, dear future husband, is my life. It's not all about tiredness. It's about having a mental load so overwhelming that even when I'm lying in bed, my mind is always doing math, planning, and projecting. It's about living in a world where the responsibility of making everything tick gets disproportionately placed on me. And it's about accomplishing all of this with hormonal changes, period cramps, and emotional exhaustion that society tends to minimize.Mental Load: It’s Not Just About Doing, It’s About NoticingThe mental load is the invisible work of managing a home and family—the planning, organizing, and remembering. It’s not just about who does the chores but about who notices when they need to be done. And more often than not, that person is me. Research confirms that women disproportionately shoulder the burden of household and emotional labor. This is not just a logistical test; it is an emotional pull that causes prolonged stress, weariness, and even conflicts between relationships.As per Dr. Deeksha Kalra, Psychiatrist, "Most women have an unseen burden—the mental load. It's the endless planning, remembering, and worrying about everything from housework to emotional support for family members. Add stress, exhaustion, and cramps, and it becomes a heavy load. This isn't about being tired; it's about being mentally and physically exhausted, often without a break."A study in The Journal of Marriage and Family points out that even when men and women divide physical labor in the household, women continue to bear most of the cognitive work of household management. This continued imbalance is a source of frustration and mental exhaustion, and even mundane tasks seem too much to handle.Overlooked Toll of Period Pain and Hormonal ShiftsIn addition to the endless list of things to do, there is the experience of menstrual wellness. Painful menstruation is more than just a nuisance; it brings mood swings, fatigue, and physical pain that even the most mundane tasks become unbearable. Conditions such as PCOS and endometriosis also increase these challenges, creating searing pain and fatigue that many women are forced to push through.Dr. Nishi Singh, Fertility Specialist, says, "Women bear a huge and sometimes invisible societal burden of juggling work, family, and personal responsibilities, in addition to tolerating the physical and emotional anguish and stress of period cramps. Chronic stress affects reproductive health, elevating cortisol levels, which can result in irregular periods, delayed ovulation, and even sub-fertility. Psychological stress due to lack of support can be overwhelming. Women require more than just medical treatment; they require a supportive culture within the home, workplace, and medical centers."The truth is that reproductive health is not simply about biology. Emotional and mental well-being are just as important. Women are supposed to suffer in silence, to "get through" their discomfort, even when their bodies are crying out for rest. And when this becomes a regular cycle month after month, year after year, it results in long-term health effects, from hormonal disorders to chronic fatigue syndrome.Why Understanding and Support Matters?So, dear future husband, let me tell you this: support isn't a showy thing. It's the little things that demonstrate that you notice me. It's recognizing my invisible labor, stepping in before I must ask you to, getting that when I tell you I am tired, I am not whining.Dr. Kalra points out, "What would be helpful? Understanding, support, and mutual responsibility. A simple acknowledgement: 'I see you, and I respect you,' can make a tremendous difference. Small gestures, like taking over chores or providing space to rest, show care and respect. Mental load is not a 'woman's problem'; it is something that profoundly affects relationships. An actual supporting partnership is being aware of the invisible struggle and attempting to lighten the load together."A good partnership involves not only splitting tasks in deed but in mind. It involves recognizing the mental and emotional weight I bear and actively making an effort to distribute it. It involves realizing that when I am in agony during my period, I am not being dramatic—I am genuinely distressed, and I need sympathy, not contempt.Transformation begins with awareness. It begins with looking, really looking, at what the women in your world, whether that is your mom, your sis, your wife or your child, is bearing. It's about understanding that stress, fatigue, and period pain are not minor complaints but actual obstacles to health. It's about stepping up, stepping in, and sharing the burden.Because at the end of the day, dear husband, I don't need a helper. I need a partner. Someone who notices the burden I bear and says, "I will now add some more to that, and let’s share the load together." Because when we carry life together, both of us thrive.Dr Deeksha Kalra is a Consultant Psychiatrist at Artemis Hospitals in India Dr. Nishi Singh is a Fertility specialist and Head of Fertility at PRIME IVF in India.