Have you ever been in a relationship wherein you feel you are constantly chasing your partner? And no matter how much you try, you always find them running away from you emotionally and physically. Or worse still, are you the one who is always requesting the other person to pay attention to you or talk to you? If your answer is yes, then you may have something that is called an anxious relationship pattern. And as per the law of attraction, there is a high probability that you may be attracted to someone who is the opposite—an avoidant personality type. Let's first talk about attachment patterns and how are they developedThe first attachment theory was coined by British psychologist John Bowlby. He described attachment as a "lasting psychological connectedness between human beings." He wanted to study the anxiety and distress that children experience when separated from their primary caregivers. Sigmund Freud had already suggested that infants become attached to their primary caregivers or source of pleasure. In their case, it is their mothers. Based on this, Bowlby derived 4 attachment patterns: Ambivalent AttachmentAs a result of poor parental availability, these children cannot depend on their primary caregiver to be there when they need them. Thus, children develop an ambivalent attachment style and become very distressed when a parent leaves. Avoidant AttachmentThis attachment style might be a result of abusive or neglectful caregivers. Children who are punished for relying on a caregiver will learn to avoid seeking help in the future. As a result, these children tend to avoid parents or caregivers, showing no preference between a caregiver and a complete stranger. Disorganized AttachmentThis behaviour pattern is linked to inconsistent caregiver behaviour. Children with a disorganized attachment style display a confusing mix of behaviour, seeming disoriented, dazed, or confused. They may avoid or resist the parent. In such cases, parents may serve as both a source of comfort and fear, leading to disorganized behaviour.Secure AttachmentChildren who can depend on their caregivers show distress when separated and joy when reunited. Although the child may be upset, they feel assured that the caregiver will return. When frightened, securely attached children are comfortable seeking reassurance from caregivers. This is the most common attachment style.So what happens when these children grow up? Anxious people chase the avoidants People's adult behaviour is based on the attachment style they developed during their infancy and childhood. If we were to follow Bowlby's theory, people with an anxious attachment type more often than not, end up chasing an emotionally distant (avoidant) partner in romantic relationships. It is because they are looking to reduce or end an anticipated anxiety. Anxious personalities are attracted to the independent and resilient traits of avoidant personality types, hoping it may fix their insecurities and anxieties.But why do avoidant people like anxious types? As per psychologists, the avoidant personality types are attracted to the pursuit of closeness and dependence by an anxious partner, as they subconsciously crave attention. They might not realise it, but their actions are directed towards seeking a secure base in their anxious partners. So, here's a psychologist-assured tip for those chasing their partners-try moving away for a while and they'll return.