Someone close to you seems fine, smiling, showing up for work, posting selfies, maybe even getting compliments like “You look great, have you lost weight?” You wouldn’t suspect they’re battling a serious mental health condition but what if they are? What if their struggle is happening beneath the surface—camouflaged by societal expectations, assumptions, or even praise?This is exactly the danger when it comes to eating disorders—a class of complex, deeply psychological conditions that too often get misrepresented, misdiagnosed, or completely missed. Many people, including healthcare professionals, still picture eating disorders through one narrow lens: a visibly thin young woman, wasting away. That image is outdated and dangerously incomplete.“People often suffer in silence simply because they ‘don’t look sick enough’ in the eyes of others,” says Dr. Ria Talwar, Counselling Psychologist & Eating Disorders Specialist at Samarpan Health. “Many individuals living with severe symptoms of an eating disorder fall within what is considered a ‘normal’ or even higher body weight.”Eating disorders don’t discriminate by gender, age, or size. And they don’t always show up as emaciation or dramatic weight loss. They can look like control, perfectionism, calorie counting masked as ‘health’, or persistent anxiety around meals. If we continue to rely on stereotypes, we miss the very people who most need support.Common Misconceptions About What A Person With Eating Disorder Looks LikeAssumptions about how eating disorders look are not just incorrect—they’re actively harmful. Dr. Talwar highlights that comments like “You’ve lost weight, you look great” or “You should eat more, you’re disappearing” are often thrown around casually. But these statements can validate disordered behaviors or minimize distress. “They lead to a potential eating disorder being normalised, misunderstood, or even praised,” she says.More dangerously, they build a mental narrative where people feel they need to appear visibly unwell to be taken seriously. This creates a hierarchy of suffering, where only the physically obvious cases are acknowledged. That mindset delays diagnosis, treatment, and recovery.What’s more, the reality is grim: eating disorders have one of the highest mortality rates of any mental illness, both from physical complications and suicide. Every delay in recognition comes at a potentially fatal cost.Dr. Talwar emphasizes that many clients with long-standing disordered eating go years without anyone noticing—sometimes even themselves. “We regularly see individuals who have lived with a deeply unhealthy relationship with food for years before their struggle is recognized,” she notes.Why? Because they don’t ‘look the part.’This is especially true for people living in larger bodies, men, non-binary individuals, or people of color—groups that have been historically excluded from the narrow portrayal of who gets eating disorders.In many cases, these disorders are a coping mechanism for emotional pain, anxiety, trauma, or a desire for control. Food becomes a way to self-soothe, punish, or numb when feelings become overwhelming. Some people engage in disordered eating as a form of self-harm, especially when traditional outlets like talking or crying aren’t safe or available.Also Read: 'Anxious Mondays' Can Lead To Stress That Lasts Biologically For MonthsEating Disorders Are Never Just About FoodEating disorders are not about vanity or willpower. They are multi-layered mental health disorders, and food is just the symptom. Many times, they coexist with other conditions like:AnxietyObsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)DepressionIn fact, perfectionism is a common thread—people set impossibly high standards for themselves, and when they fall short (as humans inevitably do), they use food as a way to regain control or punish themselves.Dr. Talwar puts it plainly, “Food, weight, and appearance are surface-level expressions of deeper psychological distress.”Subtle Signs Of Eating Disorder That May Be Easy To MissOften, the earliest signs of an eating disorder aren’t physical at all. They show up in behaviors and mood shifts. Teachers, parents, and even close friends may miss them if they’re only looking for weight loss. Dr. Talwar outlines key red flags:A sudden obsession with “clean” eating or calorie trackingAvoidance of meals or eating in secretAnxiety or irritability before and after eatingChecking the mirror or weighing themselves compulsivelySocial withdrawal, especially around food-related eventsBathroom visits right after mealsSometimes, these behaviors are dismissed as “just being healthy” or “dieting.” But the difference is in the distress, rigidity, and secrecy. And often, the individual doesn’t even realize their behavior is harmful.What helps most? Not confrontation—but compassionate conversation. Create a safe space, without judgment, where someone can speak freely. That’s often the first real step toward healing.What Role Does Social Media Plays In Detection And Intervention?In the digital age, social media can make eating disorders both more visible and more dangerous. It's a tool but how we use it matters. “Social media is a powerful force that cuts both ways,” Dr. Talwar says. On one hand, curated fitness journeys, diet fads, and aesthetic 'health' content can subtly glorify disordered eating. Young people are especially vulnerable to these unrealistic comparisons.On the other hand, the internet has helped destigmatize the conversation. Many people realize they’re struggling when they see others openly share their recovery journeys, therapy tips, or mental health insights. Hashtags like #EDRecovery and #BodyNeutrality have helped people find community and support.“Monitoring and navigating the medium requires media literacy, critical thinking, and accountability from platforms themselves,” says Dr. Talwar. More education, more empathy, and more intentional content can shift the narrative from comparison to connection.What Needs to Change?Stop assuming you can tell who’s struggling by how they lookReframe praise about weight loss—it may reinforce dangerous behaviorsStart conversations with empathy, not judgmentAdvocate for broader training for healthcare providers, educators, and families to recognize diverse signs of eating disordersHold media accountable for promoting healthy and inclusive representations of bodies and foodEating disorders don’t need to be visible to be serious. The pain is real—even if the person looks “fine.” Recovery starts with recognizing the truth, eating disorders wear many faces, and all of them deserve support. Let’s stop waiting for someone to look sick before we take their suffering seriously.